The Bully
by Hannahfour
Summary: Guthrie and Heidi have to deal with a bully at school who's trying to sell kids marijuana. But what happens if everyone thinks you're the bully instead?
1. Chapter 1

I look Gary right square in the face and I can see the fear in his eyes. I clench my hand into a fist, bring my arm back and swing it around as fast as I can, and as hard as I can, and punch him right in the nose.

The blood drips from his nose, but I don't care. I bring my fist around again and this time punch him right in the eye. He puts his hands up to cover his face but he's not quick enough. I feel so angry inside. I know there are kids standing around us saying something but I can't hear anything, and all I can see is his face. I bring my fist around again but somebody grabs me and holds me back. I try to get away but they're stronger. I look around me and I can hear everyone chanting, "fight! Fight! Fight!" Then everyone is silent and looks above me. I look up and see the principal's face and I realize he's the one holding me back.

I look at Gary and see the blood on his face. He's crying. And then I think, oh my gosh, what have I done?

* * *

"C'mon Heidi we gotta get back now. I think we're already late." Guthrie and I are out at the pond exploring. We've been looking for turtles. We want to find two so we can make them race each other, but they have to be small ones so we can hide them in my room. But we didn't find any today. We didn't realize the sun is already behind the mountain now and daylight is fading fast. We're supposed to be home by dinnertime.

"We should come back tomorrow," Guthrie says.

"Yeah. Maybe we should bring some lettuce with us."

"We could make a trap!" Guthrie says.

We get closer to the house and we can see an ambulance in the driveway and the Sheriff's jeep. We run over and see the Sheriff talking to our brothers.

"What happened?" Guthrie yells running over.

"Nothing," Daniel says. "We'll tell you later."

"Who's in the ambulance?" I can see all my brothers so that means it must be, "Hannah?" I ask.

"No, it's not Hannah," Adam says. "You two go on up to the house. This doesn't concern you."

We walk towards the house but stop at the fence and hide behind it as much as we can. It's getting darker so they can't really see us. But we can hear them. The Sheriff is talking to them about pot growers. "Guthrie what's pot growers?" I ask.

"Sh. I'll tell you later," he says. "Let's listen."

Brian sounds angry. "I've been hunting all over these hills and I ain't never seen any pot garden!" The Sheriff tells him to be careful out there. And then we hear Evan say, "murders and beatings, you don't see that kind of violence up here."

"Somebody's been murdered?" I ask.

"Sh! I wanna hear!" Guthrie says.

We listen and we can hear the Sheriff tell them to stay out of the back country as much as possible. "Keep your eyes open," he says. "You see any strangers wandering around or planes landing where they shouldn't, you let me know."

Then Adam says, "alright you heard the man. Nobody goes up in those hills alone. Got it?" My brothers all say they got it and Guthrie and I run up to the house.

* * *

"What do you think they were talking about?" I ask Guthrie. When we came in the house we ran up to my room and shut the door. "Who do you think was in the ambulance?" I ask.

"I don't know. Maybe somebody was murdered!" He says.

"On our ranch?" I ask.

"Must've been. Otherwise the ambulance wouldn't be here."

"Guthrie, what's a pot grower?"

"It's somebody who grows marijuana," he says.

"What's that?"

"It's this stuff people like to smoke and they think they're cool when they do it. But it's not cool, it's dumb. And it's dangerous to smoke." Then he adds, "you'll learn about it in sixth grade at school."

"If it's dangerous why do people grow it?"

"Because they can make a lot of money growing it. People buy it from you. Kids sell it at school."

"Our school?" I ask.

"Yeah, some of the eighth graders."

"Come to dinner!" Hannah yells up.

"Don't tell anyone I said kids sell it at school, ok?"

"Ok." We leave my room and walk downstairs to dinner. I wonder why he doesn't want me to tell anybody that?

* * *

At dinner Guthrie asks who was in the ambulance. "Just some guy that got hurt," Brian says.

"What was he doing on our ranch?" Guthrie asks.

"We're not really sure," Adam says.

"Was he growing pot?" I ask.

Everyone looks at me. "What?" I say again. "Was he?"

"Where'd you hear that?" Hannah asks.

Guthrie glares at me and tries to kick me under the table. Then Adam says, "I think someone was listening to our conversation with the Sheriff." And he looks at me and then Guthrie. "You two don't need to worry about that. But listen carefully, do not go anywhere you're not supposed to be. I mean it. And you tell us where your going, even if it's out to the river. You got that?" We nod our heads. "You'll be grounded for a year if you don't."

"Ha!" I yell out laughing. "That's funny." Guthrie kicks me.

"I'm not joking," Adam says looking at me very seriously. So I shut up and finish my dinner. Guthrie and I look at each other and we know something's wrong.

* * *

That night Adam tucks me in. He sits on my bed, "I wanted to talk to you about what you overheard with the Sheriff. What do you know about pot?"

"Just what Guthrie told me. He said people grow it. Are they growing it on our ranch? Was someone gonna get murdered for it?" I ask, sitting up excitedly.

He puts his hands on my arms and looks down at me. I can see a hint of a smile. "You sure are a little firecracker aren't you?" I smile. "But there's a reason why I didn't want you to hear the conversation with the Sheriff. You're too little to understand."

"I'm not little! I'm ten!"

"You're little," he smiles down at me. I don't want you to worry about grownup things. Ok?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Ok," I say.

"Now promise me you won't go anywhere you're not supposed to."

"I promise," I say. "I pinkie promise!" And I hold out my pinkie. Adam laughs and shakes my pinkie with his, and then he hugs me.

"Now I'm going to go downstairs to tell Guthrie the same thing." He kisses my cheek and says goodnight.

"Goodnight," I say, and I roll over on my side and close my eyes.

* * *

"What are you looking at?" The boy asks me at the water fountain. He must be new because I've never seen him before. When you live in a small town like Murphys everyone knows everyone and I don't know him.

"Nothing," I say, and I take a drink.

He's glaring at me and I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm staring at him. I'm not afraid of anyone at school. Nobody ever picks on me because of my brothers. When you have seven older brothers nobody messes with you. It's not like I need protection though. I'm really good at fighting. I play fight and play wrestle with my brothers all the time. They've taught me everything I know about fighting. All the kids at school know I can fight too. I look back at the new boy.

He looks a little scary to me. He's definitely older than me. Probably in Guthrie's grade which is seventh. No, he's tall, he must be in eighth grade. He has a mean look on his face, like he's mad at something, or someone.

"What are you looking at?" He asks again. And I realize now I am staring at him. I want to say, 'I'm looking at you', but I don't think he'd like that. So instead I say, "nothing." I turn around and walk back to class. But I glance back at him and he's glaring at me.

* * *

Later that day I'm out of class getting another drink. (I like to get lots of drinks during the day. Not because I'm thirsty, but just to go outside for a little while.) I see the same boy over by the lockers.

The seventh and eighth graders have a wing at school for their classrooms and it has a row of lockers on the outside wall. The schools in my area don't have Junior Highs. Our schools are K-8 and then you go to high school in Angeles Camp. That's where my brothers go.

So I see this new kid over by the lockers and he's talking to another boy. I look closer and it doesn't look like they're talking, but instead, it looks like he's saying something mean because the other kid looks scared. The new kid's holding a brown paper lunch bag and trying to shove it at the other boy. The boy doesn't want it. A teacher walks out of his classroom and startles the boys.

"Get back to class!" He yells at them.

The new kid shoves the bag into his jacket but I see something fall out of it. Both boys walk away and the teacher goes back into his classroom and shuts the door. I walk over to the lockers to see what he dropped.

I look on the ground and see a little white piece of rolled up paper. I pick it up and look at it. It's rolled up pretty tight. It looks like a small rolled up cigaret. I put it in my pocket and go back to the drinking fountain. I get my drink and skip back to class. I glance back behind me and see the new kid standing in the hall glaring at me.


	2. Chapter 2

I look at the clock in our classroom and it says 2:35. Ten more minutes and school's over. I can't wait. School's not my favorite place to be. I get tired of all the reading and math we have to do, and I'm not very good at it. I look at the clock again. Eight minutes to go. Agh! This is taking forever!

"Oh class, I almost forgot about your new writing assignment," Mrs. Wilson says. "You can get started on it tonight for homework." I groan. She passes out the worksheet and I stuff it in my folder. I look at the clock again. Two minutes. I look out the window and see a few kids already out of class. Why can't we get out early? I look closer and I can see one of the kids is the scary looking new eighth grader. He's walking over to my classroom. The bell rings and my teacher opens the door. Normally I'm the first one out the door, but today I wait at my seat. What's he doing over here? He's looking around at all the kids coming out of their classrooms and then he looks in my classroom and sees me. He stands outside my classroom door, not right in front of it, but a little to the side. He looks mad.

"Heidi, is there something I can help you with?" My teacher asks.

I look around the classroom and everyone else is gone. "No. I just need to find my jacket." I walk to the back of the room and pretend I'm looking for it. I look out the door and I can see the new kid out there glaring at me. But then I see another new kid by him. He's smaller. Probably in sixth grade and he walks up to the big kid and they talk to each other. Then they leave and run to the front of the school where the buses are. I watch from the doorway as they get on the bus and the big scary kid turns around and glares at me.

I feel scared. I don't know why he keeps glaring at me. I realize then that I'm going to miss my bus. I watch the buses pull away from school from my classroom door. I'm not supposed to miss my bus because I'm not allowed to walk that far home by myself. Guthrie can, and I can walk home with him, but I'm not supposed to walk by myself. I don't have any other choice so I get started on the long walk home.

* * *

As I'm walking home I think about why the scary new kid keeps glaring at me. I pull out the rolled up white paper from my pocket and stare at it. Does it have something to do with this? Maybe there's something inside it. I start to unroll it when I hear a horn honk. I look up and it's our truck. I stuff the paper back in my pocket and look to see who's driving. It's Crane. He pulls over to the side of the road and I get in.

"How come you missed the bus?" He asks.

"I don't know, I just missed it." I say, looking out the window.

"What'd you mean you don't know? What were you doing? Did you have to stay after school?"

"Jeez! What's with all the questions? I just missed it. And no, I didn't have to stay after school, I didn't get in trouble today." And I stare out the window again.

"What's wrong Heidi?"

"Nothing," I mutter.

"You know if something's bothering you, you can talk to me about it." Crane says.

I keep looking out the window. "Nothing's bothering me." And we drive home in silence.

* * *

When I get out of the truck I run into the house and go into the kitchen. There's still cookies sitting out and Hannah's in there washing dishes.

"Hi," she says. "How come you're so late?"

"I missed the bus."

"How come?" She asks. I grab a few cookies and run out the back door.

"Can't talk now!" I say. "I gotta go do my chores!"

I run over to the barn and I see Guthrie out there feeding some of the horses. He sees me coming and stops to stare at me. "Why'd you miss the bus? Did you get in trouble?"

"No! Why does everyone keep asking me that!" I yell.

"Because sometimes that happens. Jeez! Why are you so mad?" Guthrie asks.

"I'm not mad!" I yell. Ford is coming over to the barn and he's laughing. "Why are you laughing?" I yell.

"Because it sure sounds like you're mad!" And Guthrie laughs too. I stomp off towards the river.

"Hey, what about your chores?" Ford calls out to me.

"I'll do them later!" I yell. They're still laughing and then I hear Guthrie say, "you can't go out there by yourself, remember?"

I turn around and stomp towards the house and I can hear them laughing at me the whole way.

* * *

I'm so mad at them! I stomp up the stairs to my bedroom and slam the door. I sit on my bed to think and I remember what's in my pocket. I pull out the rolled up paper and look at it. What is this? Maybe there's something inside of it. I look at it and decide I should unroll it. I unroll it carefully and find little pieces of leaves inside. It looks like the tea in Hannah's tea bags. Why would anyone want to roll up tea leaves? And why was he trying to give it to that boy? I decide to roll it back up and put it in my top dresser drawer. I'll ask one of my brothers tomorrow. Or maybe I'll ask Hannah because she knows a lot about tea.

* * *

I get my homework folder and walk downstairs to the kitchen table. I pull out my math ditto and luckily I only have five problems I need to finish. Usually I have more to do because I don't get a lot of work done during class. My teacher says I get distracted easily.

I get a pencil and look at the math ditto and then I look out the window. I see Guthrie and Ford still out at the barn. I look farther out to the pasture and see Adam and Brian on their horses riding over to the barn. I wish I was out there riding my horse, Lucy. I jump when I hear a noise in the kitchen. I look over and Evan and Daniel sit down next to me.

"Whatcha doing?" Evan asks.

"Math homework. Want to help?" I smile up at them.

"Sure." Daniel says taking my math ditto. I love it when they help me because usually they just write the answers for me. "Give me your pencil," he says.

"Oh no you don't!" Hannah says coming into the kitchen. "You two, out! You know better than that!" They laugh as she takes the math ditto away from Daniel and hands it back to me.

"Do you need some help?" She asks me.

"No, not with this. But I might need some help with my writing ditto." She sits down at the table and looks at her magazine. I finish my math and pull out my writing ditto. I look at the top of the page and groan. I stuff it back in the folder and get up to leave.

"Hey, where are you going? You can't be finished that fast. Do you need help?" She asks, closing her magazine.

"No. I'll just ask my teacher to help me tomorrow." I say walking away.

"Stop." She says. I look at her and she smiles at me. "I was really good at writing in school, I got all A's."

"You can't help me with this," I say, still trying to leave.

"Well, you can at least let me look at it." I shake my head no. She holds out her hand and I just stand there. "Heidi, let me see."

I shove my folder in her hand and she pulls out the writing ditto. "Now let's see, the title says, 'When I Was a Baby'." And then her voice starts to sound a little sad when she reads the directions. "Write a paragraph about a funny story from when you were a baby." She looks at me and says, "oh."

I leave her sitting there with my folder and walk out the back door. "Gotta go feed the chickens," I say. Once I'm outside I start to cry.

I'm not crying about the writing assignment. We get those kind of assignments all the time and my family's used to them by now. I think I'm crying because its been a long day. I walk over to the barn and wipe the tears off my cheeks. I don't want Guthrie and Ford to see me crying. I ignore them as I walk over to the chicken feed and scoop some out. I finish with the chickens and walk towards Lucy. I like to talk to her when I feel sad, but she's busy eating. I walk over to the fence and climb up it and sit. I'll just wait here for her to finish eating. Brian and Adam walk by on their way to the house. I decide to ignore them too.

"Hey, why the long face?" Brian asks on his way by. I shrug my shoulders, jump off the fence and walk towards Lucy. They continue on over to the house and Guthrie comes running over to me.

"Are you ready to go back to the pond? I've got some lettuce," he says.

I forgot about the turtles. "No, I haven't finished my homework yet. Maybe we should go tomorrow instead."

"Ok." He says and runs over to the house. I decide I'll stay out here and talk to Lucy until dinnertime.

* * *

That night at dinner Guthrie tells everyone there's a new boy at school. "He's really nice. He has two older brothers too. One's an eighth grader and I think the other one's in high school."

"I think I heard talk of a new family that moved into town. Someone said they're living in the old Johnson house." Brian says.

"I think the older brother is in my math class," Evan says.

"Well, this new kid in my class, he's really nice. His name's Gary," Guthrie says. "I told him I live on a ranch and he wants to come see our horses. Can he come over after school tomorrow?"

Hannah looks down at Adam and then she smiles at Guthrie, "I don't see why not. As long as you get your chores done."

I look at Guthrie and he's really happy. "But we were gonna go to the pond after school tomorrow," I say.

He looks at me and shrugs his shoulders, "we can always do that another day." He gets up from the table. "Can I be excused please? I gotta a lot of stuff to do before tomorrow." And he gets up from the table and takes his dishes over to the sink and leaves. I fold my arms over my chest and glare at him as he leaves. My brothers laugh and someone says, "looks like someone is a little jealous."

"I am not," I say while glaring at them and they laugh. But, maybe I am just a little bit.

* * *

After dinner I sit on the couch and Adam walks over with my homework folder. He sits down next to me and says, "I hear you missed the bus today." I nod. "Why?" He asks. I shrug my shoulders. "You may be telling everyone else you don't know why, but that doesn't work with me. So, why? Did you have to stay after because you were in trouble?"

"No. Why does everyone keep asking me that?" He smiles down at me, "I think you know why." And I do.

"So, what was so important that you missed the bus?" He asks.

"I had to find my jacket." I say, looking up at him. I hope he buys that.

"That doesn't sound like you. You know I need you on that bus. You're too little to be walking home by yourself and I need Crane here to help at the ranch instead of going looking for you. So be on it tomorrow, got it?" I nod my head. "Do you want help with your writing assignment? Hannah told me about it."

"Ok," I say taking it out of my folder.

Daniel and Crane are in the living room and Hannah comes walking in from the kitchen. Adam says, "alright guys, gather round, Heidi's got the 'write about a funny baby story assignment'."

Hannah sits down next to me. "I can't wait to hear some stories," she says, smiling at me.

"You should write about the time you got into Adam and Brian's closet and pulled all their clothes off the hangers," Crane says.

"How about the time you got into the chicken feed?" Adam says.

"No! No!" Daniel says. "Remember the toothpaste incident with Guthrie?" We all laugh.

"What's the toothpaste incident?" Hannah asks.

"Guthrie was probably about three or four years old, and Heidi was one and a half or something like that, and they were all ready for bed and Adam put them in the playpen so he could go downstairs and get Heidi's bottle." Daniel tells Hannah. "But he forgot about them..."

"What?" Hannah looks at Adam surprised.

"I had to stop Evan and Ford from running around the house with their BB guns!" Adam says.

"BB guns?" She says. "In the house? Where was Brian?"

"Who do you think gave them the guns," Crane says laughing.

"Back to my part of the story," I say.

"So by the time Adam gets upstairs Guthrie had already climbed out of the play pen, got the toothpaste out of the bathroom, took the cap off and gave it to Heidi. She had it all over herself! In her hair, on her pajamas and all over the play pen!" We all laugh. "Adam was so mad. He had to give her a bath all over again, and she was laughing the whole time."

"Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun together," Hannah says.

"We did," I say, looking around at my brothers and I feel good inside. "Hannah will you help me write my story?" I ask.

"Sure. Let's go get a pencil." And we sit on the couch while I write my story and she helps.

* * *

The next morning, I look at the rolled up paper in my dresser. I take it out and hold it. Should I take it to school, or should I leave it at home? Guthrie runs to my door. "C'mon," he says, "we don't want to be late for the bus." I quickly put it back in the drawer and slam it shut. "What was that?" He asks.

"Nothing. I'll show you after school." And we run down the stairs and out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

When I get to school I run out to the playground. I'm not there long when I hear someone behind me yell, "hey!" I turn around and it's the big new kid and he looks mad!

"What?" I ask.

"I want my stuff back!" He says.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I saw you take it! It fell out of my bag and when I went back to get it I saw you put it in your pocket! Now give it back!"

The bell rings and I run. I run as fast as I can to my classroom and I can hear him running behind me yelling, "hey! Hey you! Get back here!"

I run into my classroom and sit at my seat. "Heidi, stop running," Mrs. Wilson says. "You sure are in here fast. Usually you're the last one in." I look at the door but all I see are the kids in my class coming in. That was close. Now I really want to know what that rolled up piece of paper is.

* * *

I don't leave my classroom at all during the morning until recess. The eighth graders don't have recess with us so I don't feel scared. But as I'm leaving my classroom and I'm walking down the hallway out to the playground I hear someone yell, "hey!" And I freeze.

I turn around and I'm relieved. It's not the big new kid but it's the smaller new kid.

"What?" I ask.

"My brother says he wants his stuff back."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I look at him and he looks like he could be a sixth grader. "Who's your brother?" I ask.

"That guy, over there," he says pointing to the drinking fountain. I look and it's the scary new kid. Now I'm scared.

"Get back to class!" A teacher calls out to the scary new kid. The kid glares at me as he walks back to his class and then he looks at his brother and nods his head.

"He wants his stuff back!" This new guy says.

"I'm not scared of you!" I yell. And I'm not. I think I could beat him up.

"Well you should be!" He yells and he stands as close to me as he can.

"What're you gonna do? Hit a girl?" I yell standing up to him.

"Maybe," he says, and he puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me back."

"Hey! You can't do that! I'm a girl!" I yell coming back over to him. He pushes me back again and I get so mad I get up and I rush at him as hard as I can and he falls down.

"Heidi!" Mrs. Wilson calls my name from down the hall. "What's going on here?"

The boy gets up and pretends he's crying. "She just came over and pushed me down. She said she was going to beat me up if I didn't get out of her way."

"What! Mrs. Wilson, he's lying. He pushed me first," I tell her.

"I would never push a girl," he says to Mrs. Wilson. "Never." He says crying a little. It almost looks like he really is crying, but I know he's not.

Mrs. Wilson looks at him and then she looks at me and then back at him again. "Why don't you go out to the playground." She says to him. "I'll take care of this." And then she turns and says to me, "office!" And she points to it with her finger. I look at the new kid and he smiles. "But..." I try to talk to my teacher but she shakes her head and keeps pointing to the office.

* * *

I sit on the bench in the office. The office has three rooms in it. The copy room, the nurse's room, and the principal's office. The weird thing about the office is there aren't any walls. All the walls are windows. So when you walk in there's the secretary's desk and then you can see right into the principal's office and see what he's doing.

The bench I'm sitting on is right across from the principal's door. I wonder why there's a door when all the walls are windows. I look around and I can see a teacher in the copy room, the secretary's at her desk, nobody's in the nurse's room, or the principal's office. I've been sitting here for a long time so I know he's probably already talked to my teacher and probably the other boy. Then I see him walk in the office.

He walks by me and into his office and closes the door. He sits down at his desk. Please don't pick up the phone, please don't pick up the phone, I say to myself. I hope this is just going to be a warning and not a call home. He sits at his desk for a little while and then he gets up and opens his door and says to me, "come in."

I sit in the chair across from his desk with my hands in my lap. I look down at my hands. "I hear you pushed someone," he says. "Would you please tell me what happened."

"The boy pushed me first." I look up at him. "He pushed me twice," I tell him.

"Then what happened?"

I look down at my hands again. "I pushed him."

"I talked with the boy and he said he didn't push you."

"He's lying!"

"Your teacher didn't see him push you either."

"She wasn't there! She didn't see it! He's lying!"

"She says you pushed him and you pushed him so hard you knocked him down. Is she lying too?" He asks.

I look down at my hands again. "No."

"You can go wait out on the bench now," he says.

"Can't I go back to class and stay after school instead of you calling home?" I ask.

"You can go wait out on the bench now," he says again, and I know what that means. He's gonna call home.

* * *

I sit out on the bench and think. Why does that boy want that white rolled up paper with leaves in it so bad? I'm definitely going to show it to Guthrie today after school. Then I look at the principal. He picks up the phone and I think in my head, please don't answer, please don't answer. But I'm hearing him talk to someone. Please be Brian, please be Brian. He hangs up the phone, gets up and opens his door. "Go get your things and come back here."

I walk to my classroom to get my lunch and my folder. When I get there I open the door and everyone stares at me, and they're all quiet. I grab my stuff quickly and leave. As I'm walking towards the office the big scary kid turns the corner and is standing right in front of me.

I freeze and look up at him. I'm scared. He looks mad. "Give me back my stuff," he mutters so no one but me can hear him.

"I don't have it. It's at home," I say quietly.

Now he looks really mad! "I need that stuff! You'd better bring it to school on Monday or..."

"Or what?" I ask him. "You'll beat me up?" I'm a little scared when I say that because of what his brother already did to me. He stares at me and I can tell he's thinking, so I say to him, "in case you haven't noticed I'm ten! And I'm gonna tell on you!" And I stand up a little taller.

He looks at me for a while and slowly smiles a creepy smile. "If you don't bring my stuff on Monday and if you tell on me,...I'll beat up your brother! Do you understand?"

My mouth drops open and I stare at him. He smiles at me again and I nod my head and run into the office. I sit on the bench and start to cry softly. Now I just have to wait and see who comes for me, and now I hope it is Adam.

* * *

I feel like I've been sitting here forever. Finally I see Adam walking to the office. I stand up and walk to the door ready to go just as he's opening it. "Heidi, you need to sit down," the secretary says. "Mr. Brick has to talk to your brother first." I go back to the bench and sit down. I look up at Adam and he looks down at me and he's mad. Mr. Brick comes out of his office and shakes Adam's hand and then they go in and he shuts the door.

They're not in there that long before the door opens and Adam comes out. I stand up quickly and grab my stuff and rush out the door.

* * *

I run out to the jeep and jump in the front seat.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Adam yells after me.

I put my seatbelt on and tell him, "I wanna go home." And then I stare straight ahead.

"Well, that's where you're going!" He yells at me, while getting in the jeep and starting it. "I can't believe you pushed that kid! What were you thinking?" He starts driving home. "Do you know all the work that has to be done on the ranch right now? And I had to come get you because you decide you're going to _push_ someone at school?" I keep staring straight ahead. "Are you even listening to me?" He yells and looks over at me. "You're not are you! Look at me!" I look over at him and he's looking at me, but he has to look back at the road. He looks mad. "You're lucky I'm driving right now!" I go back to staring straight ahead and I hear him talking to himself. I can't really hear what he's saying but I'm sure it's something about me. He's like that the rest of the way home.

* * *

We pull up to the house and I climb out of the jeep and run to the house. I can hear Adam yelling at me. "Hey wait!" But I'm already to the porch steps. "Well, you better go in the house," and I hear him pause, "'cause that's where you're staying for the rest of the day!" There's another pause. "Are you listening to me?" But he sounds a little confused. I look back before I go in the house and see him put his hands up in the air and bring them back down, and then he starts talking to himself and kicking at the ground.

The door slams shut behind me and I see Crane sitting at the table looking at 'the books'.

"What are you doing home?" He asks. I don't say anything. "Did you get in trouble at school?" I nod my head. "Why don't you sit down and tell me about it."

I sit in a chair across from him. "I got sent home because I pushed someone."

He looks at me. "And why did you do that?"

"Because he pushed _me_. Twice! And you know what?"

"What?"

"He didn't get in trouble! My teacher only saw me push him, and then you know what?"

"What?"

"He lied to her! He said he didn't push me because he would never push a girl. And then he pretended to cry! Can you believe that?" I look at him.

"Well that doesn't sound good. Who's this boy you pushed."

"I don't know his name. He's new."

"And what did Adam say when you told him all this?"

"Oh, I didn't tell him. He was mad! He was yelling at me the whole way home. Well, most of the way, then he started talking to himself." Crane laughs.

"Well, you can tell him later. It's too bad the boy didn't get in trouble too. But, you also know you're not supposed to push or hit people."

"What was I supposed to do? He kept pushing me. Should I just let him?"

"No. You could've yelled stop and ran to the office."

"Like a baby? No way! I bet I could beat him up if I had to."

"And that's why your home now instead of at school." He says looking right at me.

I look at him weird 'cause I don't get it.

"Think about it," he says.

I try to think about what he just said but it wasn't making sense. "Don't think too hard or you'll screw up your brain," he says smiling at me. I laugh back. "Alright little miss 'I can beat anybody up', why don't you get started on washing that pile of dishes over there." I groan and get up and walk over to the sink.

* * *

Later in the day I run over to the window and wait for Guthrie to come home. I can't wait to show him the rolled up paper thing so he can tell me what it is. It's gotta be something important if that mean new kid wants it so bad. Then I just have to bring it to school on Monday and everything will be back to normal.

I see Guthrie walking on the driveway and I see someone with him. I forgot he was bringing a friend home. I'll have to show him the thing later. I walk over to the door and open it and Guthrie is right there and he says, "why are you home? Are you sick?" He doesn't wait for me to answer, but instead says, "Gary, this is my sister, Heidi." And I look over at his friend and my mouth drops open. It's the new kid that pushed me today.

He smiles at me slyly and says, "hi Heidi, nice to meet you. Are you home because you're sick?" I don't say anything.

"C'mon." Guthrie says running into the kitchen. "Hannah always has cookies for us when we get home from school." Gary follows him and I run upstairs to my room. What am I going to do now.


	4. Chapter 4

I sit on my bed and wait for Guthrie and Gary to go outside. Then I run downstairs to look for Crane. He'll know what to do. He's not inside so I look out the window.

"Whatcha looking at?" Hannah asks, coming up behind me and looking out the window too. "Are you watching Guthrie with his new friend? He's a really nice boy."

"I'm looking for Crane. Do you know where he is?"

"He's out fixing a fence with your brothers."

I groan. "When will he be back?"

"Don't know. Why don't you come help me peel some potatoes for dinner."

"Ok." I follow her into the kitchen. "When's Guthrie's friend going home?" I ask.

"Aww, that's cute. You miss Guthrie already. His dad's going to pick him up sometime before dinner."

Well that's a relief. At least I don't have to see him again before he goes home.

* * *

After dinner Crane, Brian, Daniel and Evan go into town. I help Hannah with the dishes and I can hear Ford and Guthrie wrestling in the living room. When I'm finished helping, Adam walks in and walks over to Hannah. He's been on the phone. "That was the Sheriff," he tells her. "Why don't you go into the living room Heidi." I'm glad something has been distracting him tonight so he doesn't yell at me again. I walk out to the living room.

"Can I play?" I don't wait for an answer. I go jump on Ford so I can help Guthrie wrestle him to the ground. We're laughing and finally he goes down and we both pin him there.

"Alight, you guys win!" He says and we get off him and sit on the floor. Guthrie and I look at each other and smile, then I rush him and try to pin him down. He's fast and soon he has me pinned. "Do you like your new friend Gary?" I ask while I unpin myself and try to pin him.

"Yeah, he's really nice." He says, and puts one of my arms behind my back.

I break free and try to get his arms pinned and I say, "he got me in trouble today."

He wriggles free and says, "I'm sure he didn't mean it." He wrestles me to the floor and almost pins me.

I break free and say, "well he pushed me and when I pushed him back I got in trouble because he lied to my teacher. I got sent home!" And I try to pin him to the floor.

"I don't think he would do that to a girl." He says while he breaks free. "I think you're lying because you don't want him to be my friend. I think you're mad because we didn't go to the pond today."

"What?" I pin him to the floor hard and hold him there. "I'm not lying!" I say while pushing on his shoulders hard.

"Ow! Heidi stop! Get off me!" Guthrie yells. Ford pulls me off and both Adam and Hannah come in from the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Adam asks.

"She's playing rough and she's telling lies about my friend!" Guthrie says sitting up.

"I am not!" I stand up and stomp my foot. "Your friend _is_ a liar!"

"Enough!" Adam yells. "Sit!" He says to me and points to the couch.

"Why don't you boys come help me in the kitchen," Hannah says.

"Help with what?" Guthrie asks. "We already ate." Ford pushes Guthrie towards the kitchen so now it's just me and Adam in the living room.

"You know, I don't know what's gotten into you lately but you're really starting to tick me off!" Adam yells at me. He's standing and looking down at me and all I can think of is he sure is tall and he looks really mad. "Why don't you explain what happened at school today. Tell me why I had to drive all the way to _your_ school to pick _you_ up!" I start crying a little. "Don't even think about crying right now!"

"You're yelling at me!" I shout.

"You're darn right I am! I'm tired of you getting in trouble at school!" He yells back.

"You got in trouble at school! So did all you guys!" I remind him.

"Oh no you don't! You're not going to drag us into this!"

"I don't even know what that means!" I yell back.

He puts his hands up in the air and yells, "you're driving me crazy!" Now I really start crying.

"Oh no you don't! Stop crying!" But I can't. "I'm not gonna fall for that this time!" I keep crying and he starts to calm down. He sits down on the coffee table in front of me. "Stop crying and tell me what happened."

"That boy pushed me," I tell him while I wipe my tears away.

"What boy?" He asks.

"Guthrie's friend, Gary."

"The principal said you pushed him."

"I did. But that was after he pushed me. Twice. He started it."

"That's not what I heard from the principal. And why would a boy push a girl?"

"He's mean! The principal and my teacher didn't believe me. Do you believe me?" I look at him.

"I don't know." I start to cry again. He continues, "I just get so tired of you getting into trouble at school. You're just like your brothers." I look at him and he looks tired to me. Then he looks at me and says, "why don't you just go to bed." I get up and move by him and walk to the stairs. I walk slowly up to my room crying all the way.

* * *

I wake up when I hear my brothers come home. I look at my clock and it says midnight. I sit up and look out my door. Crane, Evan and Daniel walk by my room. "Goodnight squirt!" Crane says sticking his head in my room. I give him a little wave. I listen to my brothers get ready for bed and they're being a little loud so Adam comes out of his room and says, "will you guys be quiet, there are people sleeping here."

"Sorry _Dad_," Daniel says laughing quietly. They get a little quieter and finally go to bed. I can't sleep now so I decide to get up and get a drink of water. I get out of bed and tiptoe by Adam and Hannah's room. Their door is open a crack and I can hear them talking so I stop to listen.

I can see Adam pacing and Hannah's sitting on the bed. "It doesn't make any sense to me!" I hear Adam say. "She doesn't lie when she gets in fights. And she never touches anyone unless they make her mad first. I mean I'm not saying she did nothing wrong, but her pushing someone unprovoked? I don't buy it. Maybe this boy said something to her that made her mad."

"I don't know Adam," I hear Hannah say. "You know her a lot better than I do right now, but maybe you should talk to her again and just listen to her this time and not yell at her." He sits on the bed next to her and covers his face with his hands. "She's just like a little firecracker!"

"And you love that about her," Hannah says rubbing his back. "Look at me," she pulls his chin towards her, "you've got a lot going on right now. Pot growers in the back country, your brothers, Heidi...you're doing a great job with your family. You're their brother and dad all rolled into one." And she kisses him on the mouth. Yuck! I decide to leave, but when I turn to go back to my room the floor creaks. I freeze. Hopefully they didn't hear it. They did! Someone's coming to the door so I race back to my room and jump in bed and close my eyes.

"I know you're awake," Adam says in my doorway. I open my eyes. "That creak's been there ever since I was a little boy."

"It has?" I ask, sitting up. He sits on my bed. "Yep. I used to stand there and listen to mom and dad talk. What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep so I got up to get a drink."

"Do you want to talk about what happened at school today?"

"Ok. Guthrie's new friend Gary pushed me."

"Why?"

"I don't know," I say looking down at my bed.

"You except me to believe this boy who's two years older than you just comes up and pushes you? There's something you're not telling me."

I think about the thing in my dresser. "He wanted something."

"What?"

I look up at Adam, "I don't know, but whatever it was he thought I had it. I told him I didn't, and he pushed me." At least that wasn't a lie. "I told him not to push me and he pushed me again. So I pushed him back."

"Then how come you got in trouble and he didn't?" He asks.

"My teacher only saw _me_ push _him_. And then he pretended to cry and told her he would never push a girl and she believed him!"

"He doesn't sound like a very nice kid. How 'bout I go talk to your principal, Mr. Brick, on Monday?"

I shake my head no. "No you don't have to do that."

"Why not, don't you want him to get in trouble too?" He asks.

"Then I'll be a snitch. I'm a big kid now, I can take care of myself. I'm sure he won't bother me anymore. I pushed him pretty hard."

Adam smiles at me and hugs me. "I'm sure you did." He kisses the top of my head. "You are growing up aren't you?"

"Yep." I say as I hug him back. "I'm sorry I got in trouble and you had to come get me."

"I know. How about next time you feel like pushing someone you take a step back and think about not fighting." I nod my head. "Now get some sleep, ok?"

"Ok." I lay back down and he leaves. I look at my dresser and wonder if I should've shown him what was inside.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning I can tell Guthrie is still mad at me because he won't talk to me. I feel sad while I do my chores, and watch him walk over to the house when he's done with his. When I'm done I walk over to the house too.

Guthrie is sitting on the bottom porch step throwing rocks at the big oak tree in the front yard. I walk over and sit next to him. I throw rocks at the tree too. Guthrie puts his rock down and looks at me. "Why'd you call my friend a liar?" He asks.

"Because he lied to my teacher." I tell him while I throw a rock.

"What happened?"

"He pushed me."

"Why?"

"I don't know why. He just pushed me. And then he pushed me again."

"But why would he push a girl? You must've said something to him."

"He thought I had something he wanted, but I didn't."

"What?"

"I don't know. He just kept saying his brother wanted it."

"Why'd he think you had it?"

"I don't know. He pushed me twice and then I pushed him back. My teacher saw what I did, but not what he did. Then he pretended to cry and told my teacher he would never push a girl. She believed him. She sent me to the office and I got sent home."

"That doesn't sound like a nice thing to do." Guthrie looks at me then and says, "he said something weird yesterday when he was here."

"What?"

"He asked if my brothers smoked pot."

"What's that?"

"It's marijuana."

"Why'd he want to know if they did that?"

"I don't know. Then he asked if I thought it was cool to smoke pot."

"What'd you say?"

"I said I didn't think it was cool and my brothers didn't either. I got the feeling he didn't like that answer. Like he wanted me to say it was cool or something."

"Do you think you'll be his friend?"

"I don't know. Not if he thinks smoking pot is cool. And I don't like what he did to you. No, I won't be his friend. Anyone who hurts my sister isn't my friend!"

I smile at him. "Thanks for believing me."

"You just tell me if he bugs you again."

"I will. But I know I can beat him up all by myself." It's just his older brother I'm worried about, I think in my head.

Guthrie laughs. "I'm sure you could." And we go back to throwing rocks.

We hear yelling and look over to the barn and see Evan and Ford riding up on their horses. They're yelling for Adam. Guthrie looks at me and says, "something must've happened! Let's climb up the tree so they won't see us and then we can hear what happened."

We get up and run to the tree. We climb up as fast as we can. We have to climb pretty high so they don't see us. Everyone comes running over and Evan and Ford say someone was shooting at them in the back country. "I'll call the Sheriff," Adam says.

"I can't believe they would shoot us over marijuana!" Evan says.

"Well, it's big money now," Crane says.

"I say we go fight them!" Brian yells.

"That would start World War Three," Crane says.

"They were probably just warning shots," Adam says. "But let's all stay here until the Sheriff comes. Where are Guthrie and Heidi? I don't want to tell them about this. We don't need to worry them."

"Last time I saw them they were out at the barn doing their chores, " Hannah says.

"Well, they're not there now. Did they tell anyone where they were going?" Adam asks. Everyone says no.

"Well that's just great!" Brian yells. "Weren't they supposed to tell someone if they went somewhere?"

"They never do!" Evan says.

"Well, we'll need to find them," Adam says.

"They're probably out at the river. I can go see if they're there," Daniel says.

"I'll go out to the pond," Ford says.

There's a loud crack from a tree branch and I look over at Guthrie. His foot had slipped and made a small branch break. Everyone looks up.

"We're up here," I call down.

"You know, you shouldn't eavesdrop on people like that," Crane says.

"Sorry," we say.

"Get down! When the Sheriff gets here you two go into the house," Adam says while he's walking over to the house to call the Sheriff.

"It'll be boring in there!" I say while climbing down.

"Tough! We don't want you two getting in the way, and we don't want to have to worry about you," Brian says.

"But that's not fair," we say. "It's not like they're shooting at anyone over here," Guthrie adds.

"C'mon you two," Hannah says, "why don't I take you into town. I've got some shopping to do and then we can go see if Marie has any pie."

We like that idea, so we climb down fast and run to the truck.

* * *

When we get to town Hannah gives us each fifty cents. "Why don't you go find some candy at the General Store while I go to the feed store. I'll meet you there in a little while."

"Ok! Thanks Hannah!" We tell her as we grab the money and run off.

We don't get very far when we hear someone yell, "hey! McFadden!"

We turn and look and it's Gary. "Come here," he calls out motioning for us to come down the side street.

"You go wait for me at the store, Heidi. I'll be there in a little bit," Guthrie tells me. He walks over to Gary and turns back to me and says, "go!"

I walk towards the store so it seems like I'm going there, but then I turn around and hide at the corner so I can see them.

"I heard what you did to my sister," Guthrie says. "That wasn't very nice. You shouldn't treat girls like that either."

"Sorry," Gary says.

"You should say that to her."

"Ok, I will on Monday," Gary says. "But listen Guthrie, I got something to show you."

"What." Gary pulls out a brown paper bag from his jacket. It looks like the same kind of bag his older brother had. "What's that?" Guthrie asks.

"It's pot. Do you wanna try some?" Gary asks.

"No way! I'm not into that kinda stuff. I told you that yesterday."

"C'mon, are you chicken?"

"If I don't smoke pot that doesn't make me chicken."

"All the other guys are doing it," Gary says.

"Well I don't and my friends don't either!" Guthrie turns to walk away, but then he turns back and yells, "and leave my sister alone!"

"Or what?" Gary yells back.

"Or I'll beat you up too!" Guthrie yells and he starts walking over to where I'm hiding.

I run to the store and go to the candy isle. Is that what's in my dresser? Pot? I'll have to show it to Guthrie to make sure. I see Guthrie walking over to me. "What'd he want?" I ask.

"Nothing. That guy's a jerk! You let me know if he bothers you again."

"Ok," I say. We pick out some candy and buy it. We go outside the store, and sit on the bench by the door to wait for Hannah. We sit there quietly because neither one of us feels like talking.

"Why the sad faces." Hannah asks when she walks up and sees us sitting there. We shrug our shoulders. "You two must still be upset about not being able to help your brothers." We don't say anything. "I have a few things to get here and then we'll go to Marie's. Maybe that will cheer you up."

* * *

When we get home I tell Guthrie, "I need to show you something in my room." And we walk upstairs.

"Hold it you two!" Hannah says. "Come help me put these things away, and then help me make dinner."

We help Hannah, and that night at dinner we listen to our brothers talk about meeting with the Sheriff. They're going to help the Sheriff and his deputies find the pot growers tomorrow. "Won't that be dangerous?" Hannah asks.

"We're just going to point them in the right direction," Adam says.

Guthrie and I just sit and listen to them talk. We don't eat much and we don't say much. I can't wait until dinner is over so I can show Guthrie what's in my room.


	6. Chapter 6

We walk up to my room and I close my door. I open my top dresser drawer, and take out the white paper thing and show it to Guthrie.

"Oh my god Heidi! Where'd you get that!" He shouts.

"Sh. I got it from Gary's older brother. What is it?" I ask.

"It's pot! He gave that to you? You'd better tell Adam!"

"No! I can't!"

"You have to Heidi! It's against the law to have that!"

"It is?" I start to cry. Then I hear a loud knock on my door.

"Don't come in!" I yell. I put the pot back in my dresser and slam the drawer shut.

"What's going on in there? I hear a lot of yelling. Are you guys fighting?" Crane asks. I wipe my eyes and open my door.

"No." I say.

"Well it sure sounds like it," he says to me. He walks down to his room shaking his head. I shut my door.

"Heidi you have to give it to Adam," Guthrie says quietly.

"No, I have to give it back on Monday."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't, Gary's brother is going to beat you up!" And I start crying again.

"What? Why would he do that?" Guthrie asks.

"Because he didn't _give_ it to me. I took it."

Guthrie grabs my arm now and says, "c'mon! We're going to show this to Adam! Now!"

"No! Please just let me take it back to Gary's brother and then this will all be over. Please! Otherwise Adam will tell the school. Then me and you will be called snitches! Gary's brother will know we were the ones who told, and he'll be even madder. He said he would beat you up if I told. Gary's brother scares me!"

Guthrie thinks for a while. "Ok. But you can't keep it in here. Tomorrow when they go out to help the Sheriff we'll take it out to the barn and hide it there. Then on Monday morning we'll get it and take it to school. But I want to be with you when you give it back to him. Ok?" I nod my head. "Promise me."

"I promise. Thanks Guthrie," I say and I hug him.

* * *

We go downstairs just as our brothers are leaving to go into town. There's a dance and Daniels's band is playing at it. Just Hannah and Adam are staying home with us. "Why can't we go?" I ask.

"Because it's not for little kids," Daniel says teasing us. I stick my tongue out at him.

"Why aren't you guys going?" Guthrie asks Hannah and Adam.

"And leave you two all alone by yourselves?" Hannah asks. "Wouldn't you be scared?"

"Who us? I'm twelve, I'm not a scaredy cat!" Guthrie says.

"Me either!" I say.

My brothers laugh. "They can't leave you two alone because Adam knows you'll get into trouble," Daniel says.

"Hey! That's not nice!" Guthrie tells him.

"Remember that time when we all went to town and left them here, and they decided to make popcorn?" Crane says and they all laugh. "They almost burned the house down!"

"What?" Hannah asks and she looks at Adam. "You left them alone?"

"Honey, we were only gone for a little bit," he tells her, giving her a shy little smile. "We thought they were ready." Then he looks at us and says with a little smile, "obviously they weren't."

"That was a long time ago!" I yell.

They laugh again. "It was just a few months ago!" And they all walk out the front door laughing, and we can hear them laugh all the way out to the truck.

"Well, we're older now," I mutter. And we go sit on the couch.

"What's wrong with you guys today? You've been looking and acting like something's been bothering you all day." Hannah says sitting down next to us.

"It's nothing." We mutter.

"Are you worried about your brothers helping the Sheriff tomorrow?" She asks. We don't say anything. "That must be it. You don't have to worry about that, they're gonna be just fine. Why don't I go get us some ice cream." And she walks into the kitchen.

I wish I could tell her what's in my room, and about Gary's brother, but I can't. My stomach starts to hurt. Usually it does that when I'm lying or if I have a big problem.

"Guthrie, my stomach hurts," I whisper.

"I know. Mine hurts too. We can still tell Adam," he whispers.

"No we can't!"

"Tell Adam what?" Adam asks coming up from behind us from the kitchen.

We look at each other and I plead with my eyes for him not to tell. "Nothing," Guthrie says. Hannah brings out some ice cream for us but we barely touch it.

"What's wrong guys?" Hannah asks. My eyes start to water.

"My stomach hurts," I tell her.

She rushes over and feels my forehead. "Are you sick? It doesn't feel like you have a temperature."

"No, it's just my stomach."

"Mine hurts too," Guthrie says and she feels his forehead.

"Why don't you guys get ready for bed and come rest on the couch," she says.

Adam watches us walk by him on our way over to the stairs. "I think they're hiding something," we hear him whisper to Hannah.

* * *

Hannah lets us sleep on the couch tonight and we're sleeping fine until our brothers come home. Then we wake up to lots of yelling.

"He shouldn't of been doing that!" Evan yells.

"But we would've helped you!" Daniel yells. "Yeah!" Everyone else yells.

"You were playing in the band!" Evan yells back. The lights are all on now and Guthrie and I are sitting up on the couch. Hannah and Adam are running downstairs and Adam's yelling, "what's going on?"

I look at Evan's face and it's all bloody and his eye looks swollen. Adam sees it too. "What happened to you?" He yells. Hannah runs over to Evan and looks at his face. "Ford get some ice."

"That new kid from my school was at the dance and he was trying to sell pot!" Evan says. Guthrie and I look at each other. "I told him to stop and him and his friends beat me up!" He sits down in the chair.

"This happened at the dance?" Adam asks.

"No, outside. I went outside to get some air and him and some of his friends were out there trying to sell it."

"You should've come inside and gotten us! We would've helped you!" Brian yells.

"Brian! Knock it off!" Adam yells. He sees us on the couch and calms down. "We've got little ones listening. Let's all just calm down and talk about this calmly.

"There's nothing to talk about!" Evan yells. "I got beat up!"

"Yeah, and we're gonna even the score!" Brian yells.

"Brian! You can't go around beating up high school kids!" Adam yells.

"I'm not! He's got an older brother that's about our age. I think I'll pay him a little visit tomorrow."

"No you're not!" Adam yells. "We're helping the Sheriff tomorrow and we'll tell the Sheriff about this kid then."

"I'm not gonna be a snitch!" Evan yells.

"Yeah! They'll know Evan was the one that told." Daniel says. "I say me, Evan and Ford teach this guy a lesson at school on Monday! We don't need any more drugs at our school, or in our town!"

"Yeah!" Ford and Evan agree.

"You guys aren't gonna fight anyone! Or you'll be grounded! You hear me?" Adam yells up to Daniel, who's walking upstairs.

"Yes sir, DAD!" Daniel yells, and when he reaches his room he slams his bedroom door shut.

"It'll be worth getting grounded!" Evan yells. "Ow!" He yells as Hannah cleans his face.

I look at Guthrie and whisper, "see they don't want to be snitches either."

"I guess you're right," he whispers back. "But I still feel bad that we're lying. I have a bad feeling about this."

Adam looks at me and Guthrie. "Heidi go sleep in your room. Guthrie go sleep upstairs in Crane's bed so I can talk to Brian and Crane," He says. We go upstairs. Hannah goes upstairs with Evan to finish cleaning him up in the bathroom.

I walk into my room and turn my little pink lamp on that's on top of my dresser. I get in bed and I lay here thinking. Marijuana sure seems to cause a lot of problems. My stomach starts to hurt again as I look at my top dresser drawer. My eyes start to water. I feel like I should tell someone about this besides Guthrie, but I can't. Evan got beat up badly and I don't want Guthrie to get beat up like that too. I just need to give the pot back on Monday and everything will be ok.

* * *

I try to sleep but I can't. I listen to everyone else get ready for bed and pretty soon the house is quiet. I just lay here in bed crying softly. I finally get up and walk to Adam and Hannah's bedroom. I quietly open the door, and walk over to Adam. They're both asleep. I shake his arm gently. "Adam?" I whisper. He groans, but doesn't wake up. "Adam?" I shake him harder.

"What?" He groans and slowly turns towards me. He looks up at me and then sits up really fast and turns his lamp on. "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep," I say.

"It looks like you've been crying," he says, lifting up my chin and looking into my eyes. I nod my head. "Did you have a bad dream?"

I shake my head no. "I'm scared." I tell him.

"C'mon," he says sighing while getting up. He walks me back to my room. I get in bed and he tucks me in and then he sits on the edge of the bed. "What are you scared of?"

"The brothers," I say crying a little.

"Your brothers?" He asks sounding confused.

"No. The mean brothers," I tell him.

"Who are the mean brothers?"

"I can't tell you. But they're mean and I'm scared of them.

"Are these the brothers your brothers were talking about tonight?" I nod my head even though I'm not thinking about the older mean brothers, I'm thinking about the younger ones that go to my school. "They can't hurt you," he tells me. "I'll tell you what, you close your eyes, and I'll lay down here next to you until you fall asleep. Ok?" I nod my head and close my eyes and hope he's right.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning the Sheriff comes over after breakfast. My brothers meet with him and his deputies out by the driveway, so they can show them the area where Evan and Ford were shot at. We ask Hannah how they're gonna catch the bad guys.

"Your brothers are going to take them to the area they were shot at, and then the Sheriff is going to use his radio to tell his deputies where to go so they can surround them. Then they'll arrest them."

"Aren't the deputies worried they're gonna get shot?" Guthrie asks.

"They've had lots of training for things like this. Hopefully no one will get hurt. You two don't need to worry, everything will be fine." She says and gives us each a hug.

Guthrie and I look at each other. We know the only chance to hide the pot is while they're gone, so we have to do it now.

Guthrie looks up at Hannah and says, "we should do our chores now."

Hannah smiles at us and nods while I run up to my room to get the pot.

* * *

We run out to the barn and go inside. "Where should we hide it?" I ask.

Guthrie looks around. "How about here," he says, pointing to the back of a bale of hay. I give it to him and he pulls the bale out a little and hides the pot behind it. Then he pushes the bale back against the wall. "Can you get it out?" He asks.

I try to move the hay and it's a little hard at first, but finally I can move it just enough to squeeze my hand behind it. I reach behind and take the pot out and then I put it back.

"Are you sure you don't want to just give it to Adam?" He asks.

"No, then you'll get beat up! Please Guthrie, we have to do it this way."

"Ok, but I think Adam, Brian and Crane can help us. Why don't you want to tell them?"

"Because I'm scared. They'd be so mad. What if they came to our school and beat Gary's brother up?"

Guthrie smiles. "That would be good!"

"No, because then the next day 'you'd' get beat up! Please don't tell."

"I won't Heidi. I'll do whatever you want."

"Thanks Guthrie."

"We'd better get our chores done or Hannah's gonna wonder what we're doing out here," he says. And we get to work.

* * *

"Hannah can we please go outside and play?" I ask. After doing our chores Adam said we had to stay inside the house. "We're getting really bored waiting for everyone to come home."

"Nope, I'm under strict orders not to let you two wander off anywhere," she says.

"But we're really, really bored," Guthrie says. "Can't we just go to the river?"

"Or the pond? "Pleeeeese?" I ask, looking up at her and giving her my biggest smile.

She smiles down at me and says, "noooooo. That may work on your brothers but it doesn't on me."

I glare at her and walk over to the window to look out. I see my brothers outside. "They're back! Can we go out now?"

"Sure," she says. We all three head out to the barn but Guthrie and I run over as fast as we can to find out what happened.

"Did you guys catch them?" Guthrie yells.

My brothers are getting off their horses. Adam sees Hannah coming over and he walks over to her. We watch him smile at her and then he yells, "we got 'em!" And he lifts her up and spins her around and then kisses her.

"Yeah!" I say jumping up and down. Everyone's happy. I hear Hannah say to Adam, "that must be a big relief."

"It is!" He says. "We don't have to worry about pot growers near our ranch anymore! Now maybe things can get back to normal," he says.

Guthrie comes over to me and says, "are you sure you don't want to tell him now?"

"No!" I whisper. "He's happy now. They all are. I just have to give it back tomorrow and then this will all be over! They don't have to know."

"Let's go celebrate!" We hear Brian yell. Everyone is so happy as we head over to the house. Guthrie jumps on Daniel's back to get a piggyback ride, and Crane runs up to me and picks me up and swings me around until I laugh. Then he carries me to the house.

* * *

Brian makes a big dinner and Hannah makes a pie for desert. Everyone's happy and laughing at the dinner table. I look over at Guthrie and smile at him, but he doesn't smile back. I stop smiling and shake my head at him. I know what he's thinking. Hannah looks at me and then at Guthrie. "What's wrong with you two? We're celebrating!"

"I don't feel good," Guthrie says. I kick him under the table and he glares at me. "Can I be excused?" He asks.

"But I made cherry pie," Hannah says. "Your favorite."

Guthrie gets up and walks toward the living room. Adam stops talking and looks at him, "you ok Guthrie?" I stare at him. He looks down at me and then back at Adam.

I jump up. "Can I be excused too?" Everyone stops talking and looks at me. "I don't feel good either," I say.

Guthrie looks at Adam and says, "I'm ok, I just have a stomach ache."

I rush over to Guthrie and Adam says, "seems like you two have been having lots of stomach aches lately."

"Maybe we're just too excited about you guys catching the pot growers," I say. "We just need to go sit on the couch and rest for a little while." And I push Guthrie towards the living room. Adam looks at us and then down at Hannah and shrugs his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" I whisper as we walk over to the couch and sit down.

"Heidi my stomach really does hurt. I hate lying."

"Me too but it's just for a little while longer. I'm scared Guthrie. Gary's brother is scary. He glares at me all the time and I don't want him to hurt you. That's what makes my stomach hurt, thinking about you getting beat up," I say and I put my arm around him. And it's the truth.

I start to think about school tomorrow and I feel scared. I can't stop thinking about Gary's older brother. His glaring eyes are all I can see. My stomach starts to hurt too.

We listen to the conversation in the kitchen and hear Brian say, "I'm going into town." And he walks into the living room.

"Brian you're not gonna touch that kid's older brother!" Adam yells.

Brian laughs and says, "what kid's older brother?"

"You know exactly who I'm talking about! The big brother of the kid who beat up Evan last night!"

Brian turns around and smiles at Adam. "Don't worry big brother, I'm just gonna 'talk' to him."

Crane comes into the living room and says, "I'll go with him to make sure he stays out of trouble." He smiles at Brian and pushes him a little.

We can hear Daniel and Evan say, "we're going too!"

"Oh no you're not! You've got school tomorrow!" Adam yells. "And you're gonna stay clear of the other brother that goes to your school tomorrow! You got that?"

"Ok DAD!" Both Evan and Daniel say. We can hear them get up and they walk out the back door. "We'll be out by the barn!" They yell. The door slams on their way out and Hannah says, "so much for celebrating."

Adam gets up and tells Hannah, "I'm gonna go into town with them and make sure Brian doesn't get into any trouble. He might need some help."

"Just make sure 'you' don't get into any trouble," Hannah says. They both walk into the living room and Hannah sits on the couch with us as Adam follows them out the front door.

Hannah feels our foreheads. "You don't feel sick," she says. "What's going on with you two lately? If there's something bothering you, you can talk to me about it." We shake our heads no. "Well, then I guess you guys should go to bed so you get lots of rest. We groan. Guthrie, why don't you sleep upstairs tonight. I have a feeling it might be a little noisy down here when your brothers get home."

"Ok." We get up and go upstairs to get ready for bed.

* * *

Hannah comes into my room later to tuck me in. She sits on my bed. "I hope you feel better tomorrow," she says smiling down at me.

"Do you think Adam, Brian and Crane are fighting right now?" I ask.

"Is that what's bothering you?" She asks. I shrug my shoulders. "I don't think Adam's going to let them fight," she says.

"He'll fight if Adam and Crane need help," I tell her. "He always does."

"I think he'll try to stop it first," she says kissing me goodnight. "Get some sleep, I'm going to go tuck Guthrie in." She leaves and I just lay there staring up at the ceiling.

* * *

I get woken up late in the night. I look at my clock and the time says 1:30. I sit up and I can see lights on downstairs and I hear talking. I get out of bed and stand in my doorway to listen.

Crane, Brian, Adam, and Hannah are sitting on the couches talking. "You'd wouldn't believe it Hannah," Crane says, "the guy Brian went to 'talk' to was one of the pot growers that got arrested today!"

"Well that's good," she says. "I'm glad you boys didn't have to fight anyone. You know, I think Guthrie and Heidi are worried about you guys fighting."

"I'm sure they are. I guess we're not exactly setting a good example for them," Crane says.

"I think it's more than that," Adam says. "They've been acting really sneaky lately. Like they have a secret that's bugging them."

"That's not unusual," Brian says. "You gotta admit, they're a lot like all of us when we were their age. All the trouble the they seem to get into 'adventuring' and the crazy stunts they pull."

"Yeah, but mom and dad didn't let us get away with it," Crane says.

"And you guys aren't letting them either." Hannah says. "You're doing a great job. It's hard being a parent. They're growing up just fine." She looks upstairs and sees me standing in my doorway. I jump in bed. "Little ears are listening," I hear her say.

"They always are," Brian laughs. "Go to bed Heidi!" He yells up. They start talking quieter so I can't hear them and eventually I fall asleep.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning I sit up and stretch. Then I remember what I'm supposed to do today. My stomach starts to hurt but I get up and get dressed. It's crazy downstairs like it normally is on school mornings. I drink some juice and grab a muffin and some bacon. "Remember boys," Hannah says looking at Evan and Daniel, "no fighting today. Adam wanted me to remind you. You too Ford."

"Ok, we won't," they say sweetly, smiling at her.

"You'd better not," she smiles at them and hands them their lunches and they're out the door. "Alright you two. No getting in trouble at school today, ok?" She says while handing us our lunches. We nod and she gives us each a kiss on our way out the door.

We walk down the porch steps and over to the driveway. Guthrie turns to me and says, "I'll tell you when she shuts the door and then you run over to the barn."

"What if someone's in there?"

"They won't be. Hannah told me Brian, Adam, Crane are checking out the back country. She said they left really early this morning so they could be back by lunchtime." Guthrie looks back at the house and says, "go!"

I run over to the barn and sneak in just in case someone is in there. I look around to make sure I'm alone and then I walk over to the bale of hay and move it a little. I look for the pot but it's not where I left it. Maybe it fell down further. I push the bale of hay out more and look behind it but its not there! I start to panic and look around more. Where could it be?


	8. Chapter 8

I hear someone walking up to the barn and I freeze. I look over and see it's just Guthrie. What a relief!

"C'mon! We're gonna miss the bus!" He yells.

"I can't find it! It's not here!"

"What!" Guthrie runs over to look and he can't find it either. I start to cry. "Heidi, come on. We'll look for it after school. It's gotta be here somewhere. Let's go or we're gonna miss the bus!"

"No! We can't go! You'll get beat up!" And I stand there and cry.

"We _have_ to! Come on!" He grabs my arm and tries to pull me.

"No!" I yank my arm away and sit down on the bale of hay crying.

"Sh. Ok, ok, we won't go." He puts his hands on my shoulders and shakes me gently. "Heidi, we won't go!"

I stop crying. "What are we going to do?"

"We're gonna cut school," he says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Evan and Ford told me Daniel took them fishing once instead of going to school. We could do that, ok?"

I nod my head. Guthrie goes to the back of the barn and comes back with our fishing poles. He walks to the barn door and peeks out. "Let's go!" He yells. We run out to the driveway and onto the road, and we keep running until we're away from the ranch. Then Guthrie stops and we catch our breath. "Now what do we do?" I ask.

"C'mon, it's this way," he says.

"What is?"

"The Stanton's lake. There's a path over here somewhere." And he looks around on the side of the road. "C'mon, I found it." And we follow the path to the lake.

* * *

When we get to the lake I ask Guthrie, "what if someone sees us?"

"Evan said nobody ever comes to the lake anymore, so we should be ok. We just have to keep track of the time."

We spend the day fishing and not talking until Guthrie says it's time to go home. We gather up our stuff and I ask, "what're we gonna do with our fish?"

"What'd you mean?"

"We can't take them home. Then they'll know we went fishing instead of going to school," I say.

"I didn't think about that." We leave our fish at the lake and head home. When we get to the road we hide behind bushes until we see our bus go by, and then we walk the rest of the way home.

* * *

We hide our poles by the side of the driveway and walk to the house. The jeep is there so we know Adam, Brian and Crane are done fixing the fence. We walk up the porch steps and hear yelling inside. We run quietly to the window and crouch down to listen. Adam's yelling. I look at Guthrie. "He knows," I mouth. Guthrie shakes his head, "sh, listen. Why are Daniel, Evan and Ford home before us?" He asks. I shrug my shoulders.

"And where are those other two. Aren't they supposed to be home by now?" We hear Adam yell.

We look at each other and Guthrie whispers, "run to the barn." And we do.

"Let's do our chores fast and then we'll go to the river," he says.

"What about looking for the marijuana?" I ask.

"We'll have to do that later." We hurry up with our chores and run as fast as we can to the river.

* * *

We sit on some big rocks and throw rocks into the water. "What if we never find the marijuana? We can never go back to school!" I say.

"We have to Heidi. If we don't find it we'll go back to school tomorrow and just see what happens."

"No. I'd rather run away. You could run away with me."

"Why? They always find us and get mad about it. And then we'll just have to go to school anyways. We mine as well just get it over with," he says.

"What if we find a secret place to run away to," I say.

"They know all the places Heidi. It'll never work." We hear someone yelling our names. We look over and see Ford walking up.

"Adam's looking for you guys!" He yells over to us. As he comes closer we can see he has a scratch above his left eyebrow.

"What happened to you?" Guthrie asks.

"Nothing," he says.

"You got into a fight!" I say smiling at him and jumping up. "That's why you guys are home early! You all got into a fight!" I laugh.

"Did you win?" Guthrie asks getting up excitedly.

Ford smiles, "yeah. Evan and Daniel did most of the fighting. I just helped a little. It _was_ three against three though." And he stands up straighter and smiles bigger. Then his smile fades. "Adam's looking for you."

"Why? We didn't get in trouble at school today," Guthrie says, and I shake my head.

"He knows you didn't go to school," Ford says.

"How does he know that?" Guthrie asks.

"The school called to ask why you were absent."

"Why'd they do that?" I ask.

"They _always_ call when you're absent. Where'd you guys go?"

"We went to Stanton's lake. You know, like Daniel took you and Evan before when you guys cut school," Guthrie tells him.

Ford nods his head. "Yeah I remember that. But did he also tell you we got in a lot of trouble for doing that?"

"No." Guthrie says looking down at the ground.

"The school _always_ calls," Ford says.

"Do you wanna run away now?" I ask Guthrie.

"Maybe," he says sitting back down and picking up a rock and throwing it into the river as hard as he can. I can tell he's upset. I sit back down next to him and throw rocks in the river too.

"I'm supposed to tell you guys that you _have_ to come home NOW," Ford says. "Adam said to tell you, if you don't come back with me then he's gonna come get you."

"Can't you go back and tell him you couldn't find us?" Guthrie asks.

"Yeah, and couldn't you tell Brian to come get us instead?" I ask.

"Brian's mad too," Ford says.

"Why?" I ask.

"I don't know. He's not talking. Neither is Crane. Even Hannah's mad. I guess they're mad at us for fighting."

"Well I'm definitely not going home if they're all mad," I say.

"Yeah, me either," Guthrie says. "We'll just wait until dinnertime to go back."

"Come on you guys. He's really mad. He's gonna be mad at me if you don't come back."

"No he won't," Guthrie says. "He's probably still yelling at Daniel and Evan. That's why he sent _you_ to get us."

"I'm going back," Ford says. "I can't lie because they can always tell when I lie. I'll walk back slow. I sure hope you two know what you're doing." And he leaves.

I look at Guthrie. "Should we go back?" I ask. My eyes start to water.

"No! Do you know how much trouble I'll get into?"

"Why just you?" I ask.

"Because I'm older and I took _you_ to the lake."

"But you did it for me," I say.

"Adam doesn't know that. Do you want to tell him about the pot now?" I shake my head. "Then we gotta run away."

* * *

We run as fast as we can but the horses are gaining on us. "Run for those trees over there!" Guthrie yells. "We can hide there!" We never got a chance to run away because Adam and Brian came on horses to get us, and they showed up much faster than we expected.

We make it to the trees and hide behind them. Adam and Brian ride up. "We can see you in there! Get over here!" Brian yells.

"No you're yelling at us! Stop yelling and we'll come out!" I yell over. Brian gets off his horse and runs over to us. "Run!" I yell.

But Brian's faster than us. I feel him grab me under my arm pit and I look over and see he's got Guthrie the same way.

"This wasn't a very good idea Guthrie!" I yell over to him.

"You wanted to run away!" He yells back.

Brian walks us over to the horses and pushes me towards Adam's. "Get up," Brian says to me. I look up at Adam. He looks mad and he holds out his hand to me, but he's not saying anything. I shake my head no and try to run but Brian picks me up and puts me on the horse behind Adam. Guthrie gets on Brian's horse and we all ride home. They stop at the house and Brian says, "get in the house. If you run away I will drag you in kicking and screaming if I have to." We get down and run into the house while they put their horses away.

When we get in the door we see everyone is sitting there in the living room. "Sit!" Crane says.

We sit and look around. Evan, Daniel and Ford look upset, but Crane and Hannah look mad. What's going on, I wonder. Adam and Brian walk in and Adam goes into the kitchen and Hannah and Crane follow him. Brian says, "we're gonna eat dinner and then afterwards we're having a family meeting!" I wonder why Brian's doing all the talking and yelling.

At the dinner table everyone is silent. We've 'never' had a silent meal!

"Will you just say something Adam?" Daniel asks loudly.

"Shut it Daniel!" Brian yells. Guthrie and I start crying. "You two shut it too!" Brian yells. We cry quietly. I look over at Hannah and she looks at me and she looks mad! I look down at my plate. I'm not hungry anymore so I just sit there.

When everyone's done Adam stands up. "Family meeting," he says. "You two do the dishes." And he points to me and Guthrie. Guthrie and I look at each other and shrug our shoulders. They all get up and go into the living room.

"What's going on?" I whisper to Guthrie. He shrugs his shoulders and we start clearing the table. Then he stops, "let's listen," he says.

"Look Adam, we're sorry for fighting but you know he deserved it!" Evan says. "We gotta make sure these pot pushers quit selling at our school!"

"We never had this big a problem before these new brothers came to town!" Daniel says.

Adam's been quiet this whole time. Guthrie and I move closer to the living room so we can see in there a little bit without being seen. Adam stands up and reaches for something in his pocket. "I wanna know whose this is." And he pulls out the pot Guthrie and I hid in the barn, and holds it up.


	9. Chapter 9

I grab on to Guthrie. "Oh my gosh!" I whisper. "What do we do?"

"Listen." He whispers back.

"That's not mine!" Evan yells.

"Don't look at me!" Ford says.

"Well it sure isn't mine!" Daniel yells. And there's a lot of yelling.

Adam yells, "Quiet! I don't know whose it is, but you know the rules, no drugs whatsoever! You guys know they're not good for you and we've talked about this before. You guys know better. We've always trusted you, but we've got two little kids still growing up in this house and we will not allow any drugs here what so ever!" Then he calmly says, "whose ever this is needs to fess up. You don't have to say it now, but you can talk to Brian, Crane, me or Hannah. And until you do there will be no going into town on the weekends, no playing gigs with your band, no rodeo school, no hanging out with girls or friends, nothing. There will just be school and chores. You'll go to school and come straight home."

We hear a lot of yelling. "That's not fair! It's not mine! Whose ever it is better fess up, and soon!"

"Stop yelling!" Adam yells. "You're all staying in the house tonight, you can go to bed if you want, or do homework but please, come talk to us whenever you want." All three of them groan and get up and grumpily go upstairs.

* * *

"Be glad you don't have to sleep with them tonight," I say to Guthrie.

"What're you talking about? I gotta sleep with Brian!" He says. Oh, I forgot about that.

"Guthrie I feel bad they got in trouble."

"Do you want tell them it's yours now?" He asks. "It sounds like they might not be mad about it. Especially if you just tell them the truth."

I think about it but then I think about Guthrie getting beat up. "I can't do it Guthrie. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Heidi." We can hear someone getting up. "Quick! Back to the dishes," he whispers. We get back to clearing off the table when Brian walks in.

"Are you two almost done?" He asks. He looks around, "what've you been doing in here? You don't even have the table cleared off!"

Crane walks in and says, "I bet they've been listening. Finish up here and come into the living room."

We finish the dishes as slow as we can and then walk into the living room and sit on the couch.

"Where were you today?" Adam asks. We don't answer. "Where were you?" He asks again, louder.

"Schooooool?" I say looking up at him. Guthrie jabs me with his elbow. "Maybe he doesn't really know," I whisper to him.

"Oh I know you weren't there." Adam says glaring at me. "You'd better not lie again," he adds, still looking at me. I look away. "Where were you today?"

"We went to Stanton's lake," Guthrie says.

"Why? And why would you take Heidi? She's ten!" Brian yells.

"I...," I start to tell them I made him take me, but Guthrie jabs me again.

"Why do you keep jabbing her Guthrie?" Crane asks.

"I just wanted to cut school and I didn't want to go by myself," Guthrie says. I look at him. What is he doing? This time I jab him, but he continues, "I made her come with me. She didn't want to but I made her." I put my face in my hands. No! Why are you doing this Guthrie? I wish he could hear what I was thinking.

"I don't believe that for a second!" Adam says. The others agree. "You two need to quit lying!" He yells at us.

"I wanted to go too," I say. "Daniel told Guthrie that he took Evan and Ford there once to cut school, and we wanted to see what it was like." I hear Brian chuckle just a little bit, but Adam glares at him. "So we cut school." I look at Adam. "Sorry." I add.

"Yeah, we're really sorry," Guthrie says.

"Oh I'm sure you are sorry, now that you got caught!" Adam says. "You're way to little to be going out there by yourselves! Don't do it again or I'll ground you." We nod. "And another thing, when I sent Ford out to get you, you didn't come back with him!" I was hoping he would forget about that. "And then when Brian and I come to get you, you run from us?"

"You we're really mad!" I yell and I start to cry.

"Knock it off!" Brian yells, jumping out of his chair. And that makes me cry harder. Guthrie starts to cry too.

"Brian!" Adam yells.

"What! I'm tired of every time _she_," and he points to me, "or _they_," and he points to both of us, "cry, you go easy on them!"

Crane gets up. "C'mon Brian, let's go outside and let Adam handle this." And he pats him on the back. They walk out to the porch but Brian glares at us on his way out. I don't like it when Brian's mad at me. I don't like it when any of my brothers are mad at me.

"Look," Adam says, "I don't know what's been going on with you two lately, but whatever it is you can talk to us about it. I don't know if you're worried about your brothers fighting or if it's something else." We look over at him and wipe our eyes. "Usually if you're running away, you're running away from a problem you don't know how to handle, and you think we're going to be mad about it." I think he's right. "So, these stomach aches you've been getting, not wanting to go to school, running away, all the lying, being secretive, if it's because you're brothers are fighting, then I'm sorry. But if you need to talk about something, come talk to us. Don't run away. Ok?" We nod our heads. Hannah comes over to us and sits next to us. She smiles and gives us each a big hug.

"Do you want to talk?" She asks us. We look at each other and we both know what the other is thinking. We both shake our heads no and she looks a little sad.

"Well, then that's it. Why don't you two go to bed now," Adam says, sighing.

"Adam?" Guthrie asks. I look at him.

"What?" Adam asks, hopefully.

"Can I sleep in Crane's bed tonight? I don't really want to sleep next to Brian tonight."

"Sure," he says. And we go upstairs and get ready for bed. And then it hits me. What am I going to do about going to school without the marijuana? I pull at Guthrie's arm. "What are we gonna do now about going to school without the pot?" I whisper.

He looks at me sadly and whispers, "I guess I'm going to get beat up." And we both start to cry. I hug him and look downstairs. Both Adam and Hannah are looking up at us and they look sad.

* * *

I'm sitting up in my bed bored. It's only 7:30 and that's way too early to go to bed. My door is half open like it always is and my little pink lamp is on. I can hear Evan, Daniel, Ford and Guthrie talking in their room. I wish I could sleep in there so I had someone to talk too. What's gonna happen tomorrow at school? Maybe Guthrie and I can pretend to be sick. No, Hannah will know we're faking. I sigh. I get up and look for something to do in my room. I get a horse book out and sit on my bed and open it up. I hear footsteps and look up to see Brian in my doorway. I look back down.

"You still up?" He asks.

"Yep," I say looking at my book.

"Can I come in?" He asks. I nod my head and he says, "whatcha doing?"

"Reading a book."

"Can I talk to you?" I nod, while looking at my book.

"You have to put the book down." I do and he sits on my bed. "I'm sorry I got so angry with you." My eyes start to water and I try to wipe the tears away so he won't see I'm crying, but he's watching me. "Hey, no tears ok?" I nod but I can't keep myself from crying. He reaches over, picks me up and hugs me. I cry harder. "Sh." He lifts me up higher so I can lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry kid." I cry some more and then I lean back a little so I can look at his face.

"I'm sorry I ran from you Brian. I'm sorry I cut school too." He reaches up with his hand to wipe the tears away from my cheeks.

"What's going on with you?" I just stare at him. "Not gonna say?" I hug him tight and put my head back on his shoulder. And we sit like that for a while.

"Brian? Did you cut school?" I ask.

"Yep."

"Did you ever run away?"

"Yep. You already now the answers to those questions. Why are you asking?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Did you ever get bullied at school?"

He doesn't answer at first. "Not really. Why are you asking? Are you getting bullied?" He asks a little louder. "'Cause if you are, I'll march right down to that school of yours and talk to your principal!" I laugh a little. "There's my girl," he says hugging me tighter.

"You didn't get bullied 'cause you were the bully. Right?" I say looking at his face and smiling.

"That was a long time ago," he says laughing. "And just because I was a bully, I mean, _if_ I was a bully, that doesn't mean you get to go around beating people up! Got it?" I nod. "Good. Now seriously, are you being bullied?" I shake my head no. "You'd tell me if you were?" I lay my head on his shoulder again so I don't have to look at him and nod my head yes. I wish I could tell him.

"Do you want me to read that book to you?" He asks.

"Ok," I say crawling over to my pillow and getting under the covers.

"Let's see, what do we got here," he says looking at my book. "A book about a horse? I can read that." I giggle. And he opens it up and starts reading it to me.

When he's done reading it he gets up to leave but I grab his hand. "Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" I ask.

"Sure. Are you scared of something?" I nod my head and he sits down next to me. "As long as you don't mind if I fall asleep and start snoring." I look up at him and smile.

When I wake up in the morning I don't want to get up. Hannah walks by my room and knocks on my door on the way to my brother's room. "Time to get up sleepyheads!" Hannah yells out. I hear lots if groans. "Hannah?" I call out. She pops her head in. "I don't feel good."

She smiles at me. "Oh, you're going to school today. Adam says you're going even if he has to drive you there himself!"

I get up and get dressed. This is going to be a bad day.

Everyone seems grumpy this morning. Except for Hannah. She says goodbye to everyone and hands us our lunches. Adam and Brian are outside on their horses. "Make sure you come home right after school," Adam tells Daniel, Evan and Ford.

"Yes sir, DAD!" They say grumpily and saluting him.

To me and Guthrie he says, "make sure you go to school." We nod. But we walk as slow as we can. I don't know what's going to happen there and I'm scared.


	10. Chapter 10

When we get to school I run to my classroom and rush inside. "Good morning Heidi, what are you doing? Why don't you go out to play before the bell rings," Mrs. Wilson says.

"I don't feel good," I tell her.

"Would you like me to call home for you?" She asks.

"No, I think I'll feel better if I just put my head down on my desk."

"Ok," she says. I walk over to my desk and put my head down. I look up at the clock. 8:15. This is going to be a long day.

* * *

At the 10:00 recess I ask my teacher if I can stay in again. "Are you sure you don't want me to call Adam or Hannah or Brian?" I shake my head no. "Is something bothering you?" She asks. I shake my head no again and put my head down on my desk and wonder what I'll do at lunchtime.

I look out the window and see Gary. He sees me and holds his hand up and punches it with his other hand. What a bully! I wish I could go out there and beat him up, but I know I can't. I hope Guthrie's doing ok.

* * *

At lunchtime Mrs. Wilson walked with me to the office, and they let me eat my lunch in there. She also let me stay in the classroom for the last recess. But now school is over and I have to go out to the bus. I walk to the door and Guthrie is waiting there for me. I smile at him.

"Are you ok?" He asks me.

"Yeah," I say. "How about you?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. Let's make a run for the bus." He looks around to see if the coast is clear, takes my hand, and we run as fast as we can. We're almost there when Gary and his brother jump out from behind a tree. They stand there blocking our way.

"I want my pot!" The older brother says to me. Guthrie stands in front of me to protect me. I'm really scared of this guy.

"She doesn't have it!" Guthrie yells. "Leave her alone!"

"Or what?" Gary's brother asks.

"I'm not afraid of you," Guthrie says, and he stands up tall.

"Well you should be!" Gary's brother says and he punches Guthrie right on the nose.

Gary grabs his brother's arm. "Rick! Let's go! The principal's coming!" And they run off in one direction and we run the other way. "This isn't over McFadden!" Rick yells as they run to their bus. We stand there and watch our bus leave.

"No!" We cry. Now we have to walk home. "I hope Adam doesn't think we cut school if we come home late," Guthrie says.

"I don't think that's gonna matter Guthrie," I say.

"Why?" He asks.

"Because your nose is bleeding a lot!"

* * *

We walk home and Guthrie wipes his nose on his sleeve the whole way. Before we get to the house we come up with a plan.

"When we go inside, I'll sneak upstairs," Guthrie says. "Then you go into the kitchen and tell Hannah we missed the bus. Take some cookies and tell her I'm out doing my chores at the barn, and you're going to bring some to me. Then run out the back door before she can ask you any questions. I'll meet you out at the barn when I change my shirt and get cleaned up. Ok?"

"Ok." I say. We walk up the porch steps and open the front door. I look around the house and see no one in the living room, so I motion for Guthrie to go upstairs. He races up while I race into the kitchen and get the cookies. I yell to Hannah, "sorry we missed the bus, I'm taking cookies out to Guthrie at the barn so we can do our chores!" I grab some cookies, open the back door and run right smack into Adam!

"Where are you off to so fast?" He asks.

"She's taking cookies out to Guthrie. He's in the barn doing his chores," Hannah tells him.

He looks down at me. "The barn, huh?" I nod. "Guthrie's in the barn?"

"Yes?" I ask hoping he believes me.

Adam shakes his head. "I just came from the barn and he's not there. I also just watched both of you walk in the front door a minute ago." I back up. "Where's Guthrie?" He asks.

"Upstairs," I tell him.

"Why'd you lie to me? And how come you missed the bus?" I don't answer. "Your teacher called."

"Why?" I ask, looking up at him. "I didn't get in trouble today."

"She said you weren't feeling good today. She said you stayed in the classroom for every recess with your head down and you ate lunch in the office. She said you didn't want her to call home and she seems to think something is bothering you." He says.

"She said all that?" I ask.

"Yep. So why'd you miss the bus?" I just look at him. I'm trying to think of what to say. We didn't plan on this. But Guthrie comes into the kitchen and when Hannah sees his face she runs over to him.

"What happened?" She asks, kneeling down and holding his chin up.

"Nothing!" He says jerking away from her. "It's nothing!"

"Well I'd sure hate to see what something was." She says standing up.

"What happened Guthrie?" Adam asks focusing all his attention on Guthrie. I quietly sneak out to the living room and run out the front door.

* * *

I run out to he barn to do my chores and decide I'll do Guthrie's too. He was so brave today standing up to Rick. I'm working hard when Ford, Evan and Daniel walk over. "What are you guys doing?" I ask. They look mad.

"Nothing Heidi," they mutter. They walk over to the fence and sit on top of it. I finish my chores while listening to them talk.

"Why don't one of you guys just fess up!" Ford says. "You know it's not mine!"

"Well it could be yours 'cause it's not mine!" Evan yells. They look over at Daniel.

"It's not mine either!" He yells. Will one of you fess up quick? I gotta play with the band this weekend!"

"What about me?" Evan yells. "I can't miss my rodeo class or they'll take me off the team!"

I stare at them sitting over there yelling at each other. This is all my fault. I go into the barn and walk over to the loft ladder. I climb up and sit on a bale of hay looking down at them from the loft doors. I start to cry softly. I don't know what to do. I keep listening to them yell at each other and then I watch Daniel jump off the fence, pull Evan off and wrestle him to the ground. "Adam! Adam!" Ford yells running over to the house. Adam, Hannah and Guthrie come running out.

Adam pulls Daniel and Evan apart. "Knock it off! You're brothers!" He yells.

Evan glares at Daniel and walks over to his horse, Diablo. He gets on him and rides off. Daniel hops the fence and walks towards the house. "What happened Ford?" Adam asks. I sit and listen to Ford tell him about their argument.

Guthrie looks up and sees me. He runs into the barn and climbs up to the loft. "It's ok," he says.

"No it's not! This is all my fault!" I say.

"Sh. It's gonna be ok."

"How?" I ask.

Guthrie looks at me and then he looks real sad. "I don't know," he says quietly and he hugs me while I cry.

"What did you tell them about your nose?" I ask Guthrie.

"I told them some guy punched me. I told Adam I took care of it and that the principal knows."

"What'd you say about missing the bus?" I ask.

"I told them I was talking to the principal and didn't make it on time."

"What about me? Why'd I miss the bus?" I ask.

"I don't know. We didn't get that far. Ford started yelling Adam's name and we all came running out."

"What should I say?"

"You could say you saw me in the office and decided to wait for me."

"Ok, I'll say that. Guthrie? What are we gonna do tomorrow?" I ask.

"I don't know. I guess we'll just have to figure it out tomorrow," he says hugging me. "Let's go in and ask Hannah if we can help with dinner. Maybe if we act kind of normal they'll stop asking questions." We climb down the ladder and run over to the house.

* * *

At dinner it seems like all my brothers are mad at each other.

"I'm not sitting next to you, _little_ brother!" Daniel says.

"Well, I don't want to sit next to you either!" Evan says.

Everyone is changing seats and it's getting confusing. All through dinner everyone yells. Brian's yelling, Adam's yelling, even Crane's yelling!

"Adam! That pot's not ours!" Evan yells.

"Well it's gotta be someone's!" Adam yells.

"How do we know it's not yours?" Daniel yells.

"Yeah, Adam! How do we know it's not yours, or Brian's, or Crane's!" Evan yells.

"Oh come on! Are you even listening to yourselves?" Brian yells.

And there's so much yelling! Even Hannah's yelling! Guthrie and I look at each other. I start to cry uncontrollably. Guthrie watches me and gets tears in his eyes and stands up and yells, "stop it! Stop yelling! It's mine!"

No! I cry inside my head. I look at him and he tells me with his eyes not to say anything. Everyone is quiet and they're all staring at him. I just sit there and cry while everyone yells at Guthrie.

"Guthrie! You let us get in trouble for this? Why didn't you say something sooner!" Daniel yells.

"Quiet!" Adam yells. "Guthrie, what's going on? How is the pot yours?"

"Did that new kid sell it to you?" Evan yells. "I told you those guys were bad news!"

"Quiet!" Adam yells again. "How did you get it?" Did you buy it?"

"No, he just gave it to me."

"Why would you take it? You know it's bad for you." Everyone starts yelling again.

Adam stands up. "Quiet!" Everyone quiets down. "Crane take her upstairs," he says pointing at me, "and the rest of you clean up this mess! Guthrie, Hannah and I are gonna go talk."

Crane gets up and picks me up and takes me upstairs. This is turning out to be the worst day ever!

* * *

"Why are you still crying?" Crane asks me. I shake my head. I don't feel like talking. We're sitting on the top bunk, on Evan's bed. I lay at the foot of the bed just crying.

"I know what'll make you feel better." He jumps down and gets his guitar. He comes back up and leans against the wall on the other end of the bed. He plays his guitar and sings softly. I just lay there listening thinking about Guthrie and what a mess I made.

* * *

I must've fallen asleep because when I open my eyes I see Daniel, Evan, and Ford in the room. "Hi." Daniel says, smiling at me. Evan smiles at me too, "um, hi little sis. We gotta get ready for bed." Adam comes in and lifts me off the bed and carries me out. "It's late," he says. "Let's get you in bed."

He carries me into my room and puts me on my bed. He gets my pajamas out of my dresser and hands them to me. "Put these on," he says walking out into the hall. I get dressed.

"Where's Hannah?" I ask.

"She's downstairs putting Guthrie to bed."

"I'm dressed," I tell him and he walks back in. I climb in bed and lay there looking up at Adam. He sits down next to me and looks into my eyes. "Did you know about this?" He asks. My eyes start to water. "You did, didn't you?" He lifts me up and holds me and I start crying.

"This is all my fault." I cry.

"Sh. No it's not. Don't think like that." He says.

"But it 'is' all my fault." I cry.

"Sh. Let's get you to sleep now. We can talk about this tomorrow." Adam stays with me until I fall asleep. But before I fall asleep I know what I'm going to do tomorrow morning. I'm going to find where Adam put the marijuana and take it back to school and give it to Rick.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning I get ready for school and wait in my room until everyone has gone downstairs. I quietly walk over to Adam and Hannah's bedroom and sneak in. I know Hannah's downstairs in the kitchen, and I'm sure Adam's outside somewhere.

I open the top dresser drawer and look around. It has to be in here somewhere. This is where Adam keeps all his important stuff. I look around carefully, but I don't see it. Then I see a sock that doesn't look like it belongs, so I pick it up and open it, and find the pot inside. I take the pot out, put it in my pocket, and carefully fold the sock back up and put it in the drawer.

I close the drawer and walk over to the door and open it quietly. I look around and I don't see anyone, so I sneak out, close the door and race downstairs to eat breakfast.

* * *

While Guthrie and I are walking to the bus stop I start asking him questions about last night. I wanna know what he talked to Adam and Hannah about.

"What did you talk to Adam and Hannah about last night?" I ask.

"I told them some guy made me take the pot so I could try it."

"Why would you say that? Why would he just give it to you and not make you pay for it?"

"Because if they give it to you and you like it, then you'll want to buy more."

"How do you know all that?" I ask.

"Some you learn in school and I learned some from Adam and Hannah last night."

"Did you get in trouble? We're they mad?"

"Well they said they were disappointed that I didn't tell them about it. They were mad that I let Daniel, Evan and Ford get in trouble for it, but they were mostly disappointed I didn't come to one of them."

"Did you tell them if you don't take it back, you were gonna get beat up?"

"No way!"

"Did they ask you who gave it to you?"

"Yeah. I told them I couldn't tell them because all the kids in school would call me snitch. Adam seemed to understand that. Then he lectured me on how if I know something about kids pushing dope then it's my responsibility to say something."

"What'd you say about that?"

"I asked him why I had to say something when I'm not the one that's selling it or doing it. And he said it doesn't mater because a problem like that is everybody's responsibility. Then he said if I know something I'd better tell him."

"Did you tell him?"

"No. I said I didn't know anything else about it. And then him and Hannah started talking to me about how we're a family and we're here to help each other through things like this. They did get a little mad with me about you though."

"Why me?"

"Because they think you know about it and they think I told you." He stops walking and turns to look at me, "you know you can talk to them about what happened. They won't be mad."

"I don't think so," I say. We're at the bus stop now.

"I'm gonna go over and talk to my friends about Rick, and see if they'll help me gang up on him. Not to fight, but just to make him leave us alone." And he runs over to a group of boys.

I watch him go and smile because he's such a nice brother, but also because I know how to help him.

* * *

When we get off the bus I look around for Rick or Gary. I see Rick walking over to me. I stand up as tall as I can and try to look brave even though I'm shaking inside.

"Do you have my stuff?" He whispers.

"Yes."

"Follow me." I follow him over to a group of trees and we stand behind them. I reach into my pocket but he says, "wait, not yet." He looks around. "Ok, the coast is clear. Give it to me!"

I take it out of my pocket and put it in his hand. "You leave Guthrie alone now!" I yell at him.

He grabs my wrist and squeezes it hard. "Ow!" I yell and I start crying. He keeps squeezing it really hard and it hurts a lot.

"You make sure your brother doesn't tell ANYONE and I'll leave him alone! And if you tell on me I'm gonna beat him up. Just you remember that!" And he squeezes my wrist harder and pushes it away and he runs off. My wrist hurts really bad and I sit down on the ground and cry.

When the bell rings I get up, wipe my tears away and walk to my classroom. The morning drags on and by lunchtime my wrist has bruises on it. I look at them and they hurt, but it was worth it. Guthrie won't get beat up now.

When I'm done eating my lunch I walk out to the playground and sit on the grass to think. I don't feel like playing. I look around and see Gary walking towards me. Oh great what does he want.

"I hear you gave my brother his stuff back." I nod my head. "You guys better not tell or Guthrie's gonna get beat up."

"I know, I know, just leave me alone!"

"Aw, what's the matter?" He teases. "Are you scared?"

"Why are you picking on me? I'm just a girl!" My head is screaming, "get up and punch him!" But there's also a little voice that sounds like Adam's, "don't fight. It doesn't solve anything." I decide to listen to Adam's voice. I sit there and ignore him.

"Yeah, you are a girl! And an ugly one too!"

I start to cry and he teases me about that, but I just sit there. The bell rings and he leaves. I sit there for a little bit longer and feel a tiny bit good that I didn't hit him, but I feel worse knowing he's probably not gonna stop bugging me until I make him. I get up and walk back to class and hope the rest of the day goes by quickly.

* * *

On the bus ride home I look at my wrist and the bruises are purple now. It's gonna be hard to hide it, but maybe no one will notice. I stare out the window until we reach our stop. Guthrie and I get off and walk home.

"Guess what?" He says.

"What?" I say sadly.

"Rick didn't beat me up! He didn't come anywhere near me!"

"Good," I say, smiling at him a little bit.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing."

"Heidi, what happened to your wrist?" He takes my hand and stares at it.

"Ow!" I pull it away. It still hurts.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I just hit it against the slide at recess."

"You'd better show Hannah when we get home."

"Actually, I don't want her to worry about it, so I'm not gonna show her, ok?"

"Ok." He says and we race into the house.

* * *

"What happened to your wrist?" It was the first thing Hannah said to me when she saw me.

I look down at it. "Oh it's nothing. I just banged it against the slide at recess."

"Well let me look at it." I hold it out for her to see. "Does it still hurt?" She asks. I shake my head no even though it does. "It's not swollen so that's good. Can you bend it back and forth?" I nod and show her I can. "Did you show your teacher?"

"No Hannah. It's really no big deal. It doesn't even hurt anymore. Can I go do my chores now?"

She looks down at me and says, "you'd tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you? If something was bothering you at home, or at school?" I look up and nod. She looks like she doesn't believe me but then she says, "ok. I guess you can go do your chores. As long as you're sure there's nothing you want to talk to me about."

"I'm sure," I say.

I walk out the back door and I can feel her staring at me the whole way. While I'm walking over to the barn I think about how bad it feels to lie. I wish I could tell her the truth, but everything should be getting back to normal now. Guthrie walks over to me.

"Wanna go to the pond after we finish our chores?" He asks.

"Sure," I say. Maybe that will help cheer me up.

* * *

We have fun at the pond looking for turtles. It helps take my mind off things for a little while. On our way home I decide to tell Guthrie what I did.

"Guthrie, I know why Rick didn't beat you up today. And why he left you alone."

He stops walking. "Why?" He asks.

"Because I gave him his pot back."

"What? How'd you do that?" He looks at me shocked.

"I just gave it back to him," I say.

"But how'd you get it from Adam?"

"I found it in his dresser and took it to school."

Guthrie puts his hands up in the air and says, "no!" Then he puts his hands on my shoulders and looks right into my eyes. "You're so stupid!" He yells.

I push him away. "Hey, you're not supposed to call me that! And what'd you mean?" I yell.

"You don't think he's gonna notice that it's missing?" I stare at him. I didn't think about that. "What were you thinking?" He yells.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't think about that. All I could think about was you getting beat up and I didn't want that to happen!" I say, and I start crying.

"Ok, stop crying and let's think. Maybe he doesn't know it's gone yet." He says.

I look up at him hopefully. "Do you really think that?"

"Maybe. But in case he does know I'll tell him I took it back so I wouldn't get beat up. I think he'll be ok with that."

"Really? He won't get mad that you took it without asking?" I ask.

"I don't know Heidi! Why'd you do this? Everything was going to be ok! I got my friends to help me with Rick and everything! You messed it all up!" He starts walking fast to the house.

"Wait! I'm sorry!" I run to catch up to him.

He turns back and says, "I'll tell them I took it but right now I'm really mad at you!" And he runs off towards the house.

I walk back slowly and sit on the porch steps until dinner is ready. It seems like I keep messing everything up.


	12. Chapter 12

When I go inside for dinner I sit in my chair across from Guthrie. I look at him but he doesn't look back at me. I eat quietly and try to figure out if Adam's noticed the marijuana is gone. He seems to be happy. Everyone does except for me and Guthrie. When dinner's over I walk over to the living room but Adam calls me over to him.

"Heidi, can we talk to you for a minute?" Adam asks. I look over at him and he's still sitting at the table and Hannah's standing next to him.

"What?" I ask coming back to the table and sitting down next to him. I hope this isn't about the missing pot. I see Guthrie come back towards the kitchen and stand where he can see me but behind Adam and Hannah so they can't see him.

"Hannah tells me you hurt your wrist today?" I nod my head, looking up at him. "Can I see it?" I nod and hold it up for him. He picks it up gently and looks at it. "How'd this happen?" He asks.

"I hit it on the slide at recess," I say looking up at him.

"Are you sure?" I nod my head. "Because Hannah seems to think something else happened. And I think I agree with her."

"What'd you mean? I hit it on the slide."

"Well, Hannah's real good with first aide stuff and she says if someone grabbed your wrist the bruising would look like this." He put his fingers over my bruises without touching them and they fit almost exactly in the same spots. "What really happened?"

I look at Guthrie and he's staring at me. Then I watch him as his eyes get really big and I know he knows what happened. He walks over.

"It was an accident," he says quickly. They look at him. "We were playing tag on the way home from the bus stop and I grabbed her wrist. I guess I grabbed it too hard. I'm sorry."

"You grabbed her really hard," Hannah says. She's almost yelling. "You could've broken her wrist!"

"I'm sorry," he says again.

"Why didn't you tell the truth?" Adam asks me.

"Because I didn't want Guthrie to get in trouble."

"I wish you guys would start telling the truth. Don't you feel bad inside when you lie?" Adam asks. Both Guthrie and I say yes. "Guthrie please don't play so rough with your sister."

"I won't. I'm sorry," he says.

I get up and we walk into the living room. He takes my arm and walks me over to the front door, opens it and pushes me out onto the porch with him. He grabs the sides of my arms and looks right into my eyes and says, "what happened to your wrist Heidi! And don't lie to me!"

"Rick did it." I tell him.

"Why? And why didn't you tell _me_?"

"I didn't want anyone to know. I gave him back his pot and he grabbed my wrist really hard and told me not to tell anyone about the marijuana. That's it. I swear!" I look into his eyes so he knows it's the truth.

"That guy's such a bully! He didn't need to grab your wrist. I can beat him up. My friends will help me."

"No! Don't you see, this is over now. He has his stuff and he won't bother us anymore."

Guthrie hugs me. "Will you tell me if he bothers you again?" I nod my head and we go back inside.

* * *

I sit on the couch trying to finish my homework. I look around to see what everyone else is doing. Guthrie's next to me doing his homework, some of my brothers are hanging out in the living room or kitchen, and Hannah's reading a book on the couch across from me.

I go back to doing my math homework and it takes a while, but I finally finish it. I pull out my writing homework from my folder. Lately our writing assignments have been writing stories about when we were little. Most of it we're doing in class, but tonight we have to write one for homework. I look at the directions. Write about a time your mom did something nice for you. This one's hard. I don't know how to write about this one. I show it to Guthrie and he shrugs his shoulders. Neither one of us can write about our mom because we don't remember her. I look over at Hannah reading her book on the couch, and she sees me looking at her and asks if I need help. I walk over to her and show her my paper. She looks at it and gives me a little hug.

"I don't know how to help you with that one," she says, smiling at me.

"Can I write about you?" I ask her. "Other kids can write about their aunts or grandmas, maybe I could write about you."

"Sure, I think you could do that." She smiles and gives me a big hug. "What will you write about?"

"I'll write about the time you made me the cowgirl dress. What should I write first?" I ask.

"Well, why don't you start with...,"

She doesn't get to finish because Adam yells from upstairs. "God dammit! Who took the pot!" He yells walking out of his room.

Everyone is in the living room now and we're all looking up at Adam. "It's gone!" He yells. "And I want to know who took it!" Everyone is quiet. I look down at my hands so no one can see my eyes watering and I hear Guthrie quietly say, "I took it."

"What! Why would you do that!" Adam yells, and he's really, really mad! "Get upstairs to my bedroom! We'll talk up here!"

I look up at Guthrie as he walks by me and he looks at me with tears in his eyes too. I tell him I'm sorry with my eyes, and he says I know with his. And then he slowly walks upstairs with Hannah following behind him.

* * *

I can hear a lot of yelling from upstairs and it makes me cry. I can also hear my brothers whispering about Guthrie behind my back. Crane comes over and gives me a hug. "This has all been hard on you hasn't it?" I nod my head. If he only knew how bad I felt inside.

"Crane, my stomach hurts really bad," I tell him.

"I bet it does. You must be worried about Guthrie."

The yelling has stopped upstairs so they must be talking now. Ford comes and sits by me. "Do you want help with your homework Heidi?" He asks.

"Yeah, we'll help you," Crane says. "This will help take your mind off things." And they help me finish my writing. Then I just sit on the couch and wait for Guthrie to come downstairs.

After a long time the door finally opens. Everyone looks upstairs at Guthrie and I can see he's been crying. He doesn't come downstairs, instead he goes into the boy's bedroom. My guess is he's getting ready for bed. I feel so bad. I should be the one going to bed. I get up and go upstairs and decide I'll go to bed too.

* * *

"What are you doing in bed?" Hannah asks. I don't say anything. She sits on my bed and smooths my hair back. "How's your wrist?" I hold it out for her to see. "Don't feel like talking?" She asks. I shake my head no and we sit quietly for a minute.

"Hannah, is Guthrie in trouble?" I ask.

"Well, he's going to bed, if that's what you mean. Are you worried about him?"

"Hannah, why does our stomach hurt when we feel bad?"

"Is your stomach hurting? Why don't you come downstairs and I'll make you some warm milk."

"Hot chocolate?" I ask.

"Sure, I can make you that."

I get up and follow her downstairs. Adam, Brian and Crane are sitting at the kitchen table. I think they're talking about Guthrie 'cause when they see me walk in they get quiet.

"How about some hot chocolate, boys?" Hannah asks.

"Ooo, hot chocolate on a school night? Someone's lucky," Crane says smiling at me, but I don't feel lucky.

"I think I'll stick with my beer, Hannah," Brian says. "Geeez, look at your wrist! Guthrie did that?" Brian asks.

I put my bruised wrist under the table. Now my stomach really hurts. I feel like just blurting out that the marijuana was mine. Lots of things start racing through my mind that I wish I could tell them, I got Guthrie in trouble and Evan, Ford and Daniel in trouble, and I lied, and Guthrie didn't hurt my wrist and I stole the pot out of the dresser. My eyes start to water. Will I really feel better if I tell the truth? Won't Guthrie and I just get in more trouble because we told all these lies?

Hannah sets the hot chocolate in front of me. "I even put extra marshmallows in it, just like you like it."

"Thank you," I say. "Can I take some to Guthrie?"

"No. You know he can't have any," Hannah says.

I just sit there and stare at the cup. "If he can't have any, I shouldn't have any."

"Why? You're not in trouble," Hannah says. "I know you're sad about Guthrie, but he'll be just fine."

"But you don't understand! I...," but I can't finish my sentence.

"Don't understand what?" Adam asks.

"I...," I can't say it. I can't confess. "Nothing," I mutter.

"Is something bothering you? Besides Guthrie, I mean," Adam asks.

I look at him and think. If I tell him what really happened Guthrie could get in more trouble. So I shake my head no.

Hannah stands behind me and puts her hands on my shoulders and I look up at her. "If something's bothering you, talk to us. Remember, we're your family and we love you." She leans down and kisses me. "We're here to help you."

"Even when we do something wrong?"

"Yes," all four of them say. "So what's bugging you?" Brian asks.

I take a deep breath. "The...," they're all staring at me.

"What?" Hannah asks quietly. "You can say it. I bet you'll feel better if you do."

I sit quietly for a long time and then take another big breath. "I...," I pause for a while and look down at the table. "You guys will be really, really mad at me if I tell you."

"We might be, but...,"Adam starts to say.

"I can't!" I cry, and I get up and run through the living room and upstairs to my room. But then I have another idea. I look downstairs and make sure no one is looking up at me and I sneak into the boys room where Guthrie is.

* * *

Guthrie is sitting up on Ford's top bunk reading a book. He looks down at me. "What are you doing in here? Your gonna get in trouble! Get out!"

"Are you mad at me?" I ask. "Did you get in trouble?"

"Yeah, I got in trouble, but not too bad. You know how Adam always gets really mad first and yells a lot, and then Hannah calms him down?" I nod. "It was like that. I'm grounded for a while."

"I'm sorry. I feel really bad. Can I come up?"

"As long as you don't care if you get in trouble," he says shrugging his shoulders.

I climb up. "What'd you tell him?"

"Well first Adam told 'me' that he needed to take the pot to the Sheriff. So I told him I needed to give the pot back or I would get beat up."

"Guthrie I still feel really bad about all the lies I've told. My stomach hurts."

"I know, me too. I guess that feeling will go away after a while."

"I hope so," I say sighing.

The door opens and Daniel walks in. "What're you doing in here?"

"Just saying goodnight to Guthrie," I tell him.

"Come here." He lifts me off the bed and holds me. "Let's get you back to your room before somebody finds out," he says smiling at me. I smile back and he carries me to my room and drops me on my bed. I laugh. "Goodnight lil sis," he says messing up my hair.

"Goodnight big brother," I say standing up on my bed and messing up his hair. We both laugh.

After he leaves I get under the covers and lay down. I hope I fall asleep quickly.

* * *

The morning comes quickly and I feel a little better when I wake up. Maybe today will be a good day. When I go downstairs everyone else seems to be in a good mood too. Guthrie and I talk about normal things today on our way to the bus stop. When we get to school I walk over to the playground to play. But on my way there I run right smack into Gary.

"Watch where you're going!" He yells.

I ignore him and walk around him.

"Hey!" He grabs my arm, "I said watch where you're going!"

I yank my arm away. "Leave me alone! You're just a," I think for a minute, "you're just a mean, mean boy!" My head is screaming "punch him!" But then I hear Adam's voice say, "no."

"What's the matter? You gonna cry again?" He says smiling at me.

I run to my classroom. This isn't going to be a good day!

* * *

At the 10:00 recess I try to stay in my classroom but my teacher won't let me because she has to go do something in the office. I walk out into the hallway and try to hang out around there. Please don't let Gary find me. But he does. I can see him coming and I try to walk to the office, but he grabs my arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks.

I pull my arm away. "Don't touch me!" I yell.

He reaches out with his hand and pushes my shoulder.

"I'm warning you!" I yell. The voices in my head are screaming at me to fight. I don't know how much more of this I can take. We're yelling pretty loud and kids are starting to watch.

"Warning me? Warning me of what? What're you gonna do little girl, cry again?" He teases and pushes my shoulder again.

That's it! I stand up as tall as I can, glare at him, put my fists at my sides and yell, "this is the _little_ girl that's gonna beat you up!"

I look Gary right square in the face and I can see the fear in his eyes. I clench my hand into a fist, bring my arm back and swing it around as fast as I can, and as hard as I can, and punch him right in the nose.

The blood drips from his nose, but I don't care. I bring my fist around again and this time punch him right in the eye. He puts his hands up to cover his face but he's not quick enough. I feel so angry inside. I know there are kids standing around us saying something but I can't hear anything, and all I can see is his face. I bring my fist around again but somebody grabs me and holds me back. I try to get away but they're stronger. I look around me and I can hear everyone chanting, "fight! Fight! Fight!" Then everyone is silent and looks above me. I look up and see the principal's face and I realize he's the one holding me back.

I look at Gary and see the blood on his face. He's crying. And then I think, oh my gosh, what have I done?

* * *

Gary and I are sitting on the bench outside the principal's office. The secretary has cleaned him up and I glance over and see his nose and eye are pretty swollen. He might even be crying a little. I look at his wrists and I see he has the same bruises I have on mine only he has them on both his wrists. The principal's door opens and he calls me into his office.

I sit in the chair across from his desk and tell him what happened. I hope he believes me this time. Actually, I don't really care if he believes me because it felt good to beat Gary up. I don't think he'll bother me again. Mr. Brick tells me to go wait outside on the bench and he calls Gary in.

I try to listen to them talk but I can't hear anything. I look around the office and then I start to think about how much trouble I'm gonna be in, and my stomach starts to hurt. The door opens and Gary comes out and sits on the bench. I look in Mr. Brick's office and I see him sit down and pick up his phone.

Who do I want to come pick me up, I wonder. Hannah would be the best, Adam would be the worst. I don't get much time to think about it because the door opens again and Mr. Brick tells me to go get my stuff and come back.

* * *

When I get back to the office I walk over to the bench outside the principal's office and sit down. Gary's gone. I guess he's getting his stuff too. I'm glad he's gone. I sit there by myself staring out the window waiting to see who's coming to pick me up.

After a while I see Adam walk into the office. He takes his cowboy hat off and says hello to the secretary. I look up at him but he doesn't look at me at all. That's not good. The secretary walks him over to the principal's office and knocks on his door. Mr. Brick says, "come in." And Adam walks in and shuts the door behind him.

I sit outside the door and watch. The principal is doing all the talking. I can't hear what he's saying, but I can only imagine. Soon Adam is standing up and shaking the principal's hand. He opens the door, looks down at me and says, "let's go." I follow him out of the office and he puts his hat back on and walks over to the jeep. He gets in and I get in on the other side and I get ready for him to start yelling. But he doesn't. He just starts the jeep and drives home.

I look at Adam the whole way home and he stares straight ahead the whole time. This can't be good. When we pull up to the house we both get out of the jeep. I look at Adam and he nods towards the house. I follow him in and he points to the chair in the living room and I sit down while he walks into the kitchen. I can hear him walking back and forth in there. I look around and I don't see or hear anyone else in the house. I don't understand why Adam isn't yelling at me yet. He walks into the living room and stands in front of me. I look up and he looks really tall just then. I look at his face and he's looking down at me and he has his serious face on. Uh oh. And then he starts talking.

"I am very disappointed in you. I'm sick of you fighting, and I'm sick of you getting in trouble at school."

"Where's Hannah?" I ask.

"She's not home."

"Where's Crane and Brian?"

"Out working on the ranch."

I don't understand why he's not yelling at me. He's just staring at me and then he starts talking again in his serious voice.

"I have to go outside to finish helping Crane and Brian. You will not leave this house. In fact, you will not leave your room. Your door will be closed and you will not talk to Guthrie when he comes home from school." My eyes start to water. "You will not talk to anyone. You will not open your door. Do you understand me?" I nod. "You will not eat dinner with us." I start crying but he continues on. "After dinner I will come up to talk to you and you _will_ talk. Whatever secret you've been keeping you _will_ tell me. And you _will_ tell the truth, or...," he pauses for a while and stares at me.

"Or what?" I ask while crying.

"Or I swear I'll...," he pauses for a while and then continues, "let's just say you don't want to know." And he stares right into my eyes and I'm scared of what that means. "Do you understand me?" I nod my head. "Then get up to your room."

I run up to my room as fast as I can and shut my door. I sit down on my bed and cry. I hear the front door slam shut and I know Adam's outside. What am I going to do? I guess I have to tell the truth. But I can't. I don't want Guthrie to get in anymore trouble. I stop crying and sit and think. What would Guthrie do? I know, he would run away.


	13. Chapter 13

I look at the clock. 12:30. That means I have plenty of time to pack up and get started on my way before anyone gets home from school. And no one should notice I'm gone until after dinner, and by then I'll be long gone. I might even make it all the way to Sonora by then.

I look around my room to see what I should pack. I'll definitely need my jacket, and my pajamas, I'll bring my thermal ones. I still have my lunch packed from school so I'll just need to pack a little more food and that should be it. Oh yeah, I'll definitely need a flashlight and my BB gun.

I open my door quietly and look around. The coast is clear. I walk over to the boy's room and find a day pack that I can use. I put my jacket and pajamas in it and go downstairs. I walk over to where Guthrie sleeps and take his flashlight and put it in my pack. Then I walk into the kitchen and look for my lunch. I see it on the table with my homework folder. Adam must have put it there. I see a note on the table. I read it and it says:

"Heidi is in her room.  
Don't open the door and don't talk to her."  
And it's signed "Adam".

That gives me an idea. I get a piece of paper and write my own note:

"Dear Adam, Brian, Crane, Daniel,  
Evan, Ford and Guthrie and Hannah,  
I am running away.  
The mareawana was mine.  
I am sorry I lied.  
I took the mareawana back to school.  
Please don't be mad at Guthrie he was just trying to help me.  
I am sorry and I will miss you.  
Love Heidi.  
P.S. Guthrie didn't hurt my wrist.  
Someone else did.  
P.P.S. Please don't try to find me."

There. I'll put this upstairs on my bed. I put my lunch in my pack and get some crackers to take. I look for a canteen in a cupboard and find one and fill it with water. I run upstairs to my room. I put the note on my bed and get my BB gun out from under my bed. Then I look around at my room. "Goodbye room," I say and I walk out and close my door.

* * *

Once I'm outside I have to think carefully. I don't want to run into Adam, Crane, and Brian. I think of where I should go. It has to be someplace secret but I don't really know anyplace secret.

I run along the north pasture fence until I get to the tree line and then I follow it for a while. I decide to walk into the forest. I walk for a long time and stop to eat my lunch on a log. I decide I'll eat half of my lunch now and half for dinner later tonight. It tastes really good, probably because I'm really hungry. I rest for a little bit and then get started on my way again.

I come to a stream and follow it for a while, but it's really muddy so I cross it and head further into the woods. I wonder what time it is. I know when Guthrie and I are out exploring and the sun gets low in the sky it's time to head back for dinner. I look at the sun through the trees. It's not all the way low yet but it's getting there. I guess everyone's home from school by now. I wish I could have some of Hannah's cookies right now. I sit down to rest and think.

If I go home now I might be able to sneak back into my room without anybody seeing me. No, they'd see me. With a bunch of brothers hanging around the ranch and doing chores, someone will definitely see me. I decide to keep going. I walk until I get tired and I find a big rock to sit on. I pull out the rest of my lunch and eat it. I drink some water but not too much because it's getting low. I'll have to find a place to fill it up. I look around and I feel lonely.

I wish Guthrie was here. I've never really been this far out in an area I don't know without him leading the way. I don't know where I am. I wonder if I know the way back. I start to feel cold so I take my jacket out and put it on. I look up at the sun and it's getting low. This is when Guthrie and I would start to walk back home. I wish I was home now.

Why did I run away. I feel bad now. I should've just stayed in my room and told Adam the truth after dinner. Why did I have to do all that lying. I'm never gonna lie again. But, I guess that doesn't matter now because I ran away. Whenever Guthrie and I run away they always find us. But usually they find us when we don't come home for dinner. This time no one will even know I'm gone until after dinner. It'll be dark before they find me. If they find me. Now I really wish I was home.

Why did I have to hit Gary. Why did he have to be so mean. I hate him. I wish him and his brothers never moved here. I look around. I guess I'd better find a place to sleep before it gets too dark. I don't know how to do this. I don't have a tent, I don't have a sleeping bag or a mat. Should I sleep on the dirt? The sun is behind the mountains now so it's going to start getting dark soon. What was I thinking. No wonder why Guthrie hardly ever wants to run away anymore. This was stupid. It's gonna be dark soon and I'm gonna be scared.

What if a bear comes? My BB Gun's not going to scare it! What about mountain lions, coyotes, and wolves? I wanna go home. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna run home and tell everyone the truth! I grab everything and get up and start walking back. I don't know which way to go. I'll just go straight ahead. I don't need the flashlight yet, my night vision is better right now.

I walk and walk and walk but I have no clue where I'm going. I don't even know if I'm headed in the right direction. I can't see now, and the flashlight doesn't help at all because nothing looks familiar. And it makes everything look scary. I turn it off. No, that's worse. I turn it back on and cry. I know if you're lost in the woods you're supposed to stay in one place and wait for help. I look for a good place to sit and I wait.

* * *

What if they never come for me. What if they don't care that I ran away. What if they're happy I ran away. I've been sitting here for a long time and I can see the moon now. It's a banana moon. I've been huddling up as small as I can so I can stretch my jacket over my knees to keep me warmer. I keep my flashlight turned on and wave it around so someone might see it. If someone's looking. I try not to cry, but I can't help it.

* * *

"Heidi!" I hear my name being called but it sounds far away. I scream as loud as I can, "I'm over here!" Then I listen. I don't hear anything.

"Heidi!" I hear it again and it still sounds far away. I scream again, "I'm over here!" Nothing. I cry, but I stop because I need to hear if they call my name again.

"Heidi!" The voice is getting farther away. I scream again but I know they won't hear me. I cry, but this time I can't stop. They're never going to find me.

After a while I hear my name being called again. I scream, "I'm over here!" And I wait and listen. They're calling my name and they sound closer. I scream again. Then I hear, "Heidi, I can hear you! Yell again!" I yell as loud as I can, "I'm over here!" I can see flashlights in the distance. They're coming! "I'm over here, I'm over here, I'm over here!" I yell until they're here. There are three people on horses. Two jump off their horses and run to me where I'm sitting, holding my flashlight. It's Evan and Daniel! They run up and hug me. I hear two shotgun shots fired from the person that stayed on their horse.

"Do you know how worried everyone is?" Daniel says picking me up and holding me tight.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask.

"No, we're happy we found you and you're safe. Are you ok?" Evan asks.

"Yes," I say. "Who's the other person over there?" I ask.

"He's a deputy," Daniel says. "It was too dark for us to look for you by ourselves. There are a bunch of people looking for you."

I start to cry hard. "I'm sorry!"

"Sh," Daniel says. "Let's go home. There's a lot of people that are gonna be real happy to see you!" Evan grabs my stuff and ties it up on the back of his saddle while Daniel carries me over to his horse and puts me up front. Then he gets in back of me and we ride off towards home.

* * *

It doesn't take long until I see the house. I guess I didn't go very far. But I'm glad I can see the house. I can't wait to see everyone and tell them how sorry I am. When we get close to the house I can see the Sheriff's jeep and a few other jeeps. We're the first ones back. Daniel helps me slide off his horse and I see Hannah waiting on the porch. I run as fast as I can and she meets me at the bottom of the steps and lifts me up in a big hug.

"I'm so sorry Hannah!" I cry. "I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I ran away, I'm sorry I...,"

"Sh. I'm glad you're back. You had us all worried to death!" She says.

"Are you crying?" I ask.

"Of course I am! I'm so glad you're back!"

"Heidi! You're ok!" Guthrie yells. He comes running from inside the house. Hannah puts me down and he hugs me. He's crying too.

"I'm sorry Guthrie! About everything!" I say.

"I know, me too!" He cries.

"Come on, let's go inside so you can get warm," Hannah says wiping her eyes. Are you hungry?"

"Yes!" But then I remember something. "Hannah, I don't think I'm supposed to have dinner tonight." I look up at her.

"Well how about some bread with butter on it then. That should be fine," she says smiling down at me. And we walk into the kitchen and I sit down at the table.

Daniel and Evan come into the kitchen and they sit on either side of me. "Who grabbed your wrist Heidi?" Daniel asks.

"Yeah! Who grabbed it?" Evan asks.

"Boys, leave her alone right now. They'll be plenty of time to ask questions later," Hannah tells them while she brings some bread over and a glass of milk.

Guthrie sits across from me. "We're you scared?" He asks.

I nod my head. "It was dark and I tried to find my way back home but I couldn't," I tell him.

"Where did you go?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I have no idea! Somewhere out past the pasture in the woods."

I hear someone else come in the house and I look over to see it's Ford and Crane. Ford comes over and gives me a big hug and says, "I'm glad they found you." I smile at him. Crane picks me up out of the chair and gives me a hug, and smiles and says, " you had us worried there for a minute. Are you ok?" I smile and nod to him and he puts me back down.

Crane looks over at Hannah and says quietly, "Adam and Brian are just finishing up with the Sheriff now."

Hannah says, "alright boys, all you guys need to get out of here. I'm sure you have homework or something else to do."

"But we want to know what happened?" Ford says.

"Later. Your sister's home now and everything's ok, but I think there's a couple of your brothers who want to talk to her first." She tells them.

"Good luck, Heidi," they say leaving the room.

"I can tell you what happened," I hear Guthrie say as they all leave.

* * *

I hear the front door open and I look down at my plate.

"Can I get you more bread and milk Heidi?" Hannah asks.

"No thank you," I say and I push my plate away from me.

Brian and Adam walk into the kitchen and I look up at them. They look mad. "You had us worried," Adam says.

"A lot of people were out there looking for you," Brian says.

"Sorry," I tell them.

They sit down at the table and Hannah sits down too. Adam pulls something out of his pocket and puts it on the table. I look at it and see it's the note I left. I look down at the table.

"Heidi, look at me," Adam says. I look up at him. "You need to start talking now. We need to know everything, ok?" I nod my head.

I don't know where to start. I take a deep breath. I look at everyone sitting around the table and they're all looking back at me and I don't know what to say.

"Just start from the beginning," Hannah says. "You can do it." She smiles at me.

So I start. "If I tell you, Guthrie's going to get beat up," I say very quietly.

"Who told you that?" Brian asks. I just stare at him and he looks mad.

"If I tell you what happened...then you're gonna tell the principal...and Guthrie's gonna get beat up. And if I tell you who said they were gonna beat Guthrie up...you guys might go to my school and beat him up...like Daniel, Evan and Ford beat up his brother at their school. And then he'll beat Guthrie up."

Everyone looks at Brian. "I guess there has been a lot of fighting lately," he says. "This boy, he's the one Guthrie brought home the other day?"

I shake my head no. "He has another brother in eighth grade. His name is Rick." I look over at Adam and say, "I'm scared of him. He's mean."

"Are Gary and Rick the mean brothers you were afraid of the other night?" Adam asks. I nod my head and start crying. Hannah moves closer to me and puts her arm around me.

"It's gonna be ok Heidi," she says.

"Who gave you the marijuana Heidi?" Crane asks.

"Nobody. I picked it up off the ground. I didn't know what it was. You have to believe me! I wish I never saw it! I'm sorry!" And I just cry and cry and cry.

"We believe you," Hannah says, rubbing my back.

"I brought it home and put it in my room. I was gonna ask you what it was but I never got a chance to that night. I didn't take it to school the next day and when I got there Rick was waiting for me and he wanted it back. He was really scary. That's the day I got sent home for pushing Gary."

I try to calm down by taking a deep breath and I look at Adam. "Before you picked me up from school, Rick saw me and told me if I told on him and if I didn't bring his stuff back on Monday he was going to beat Guthrie up. I was so scared I just wanted to go home. And you were so mad at me I couldn't tell you. I thought you'd be madder at me."

"That's why you had all those stomach aches," Hannah says.

"Did Guthrie know?" Adam asks.

"No, not then. He was upset because Gary was trying to sell him marijuana."

"What!" Brian yells slapping his hand down on the table. It startles me and I look at him. He looks so mad! "Sorry, it just makes me mad that kids are pushing dope at the elementary school now! I know seventh and eighth grade is there too, but you're 10 Heidi, you shouldn't even know what marijuana is yet!"

"I didn't know what it was until Guthrie told me. He wanted me to show it to you but I was afraid. I was afraid you would tell the school and Rick would know we told and he would beat Guthrie up. So we decided to hide it in the barn. When it wasn't there the next morning I was so scared to go to school so Guthrie said we could cut school. He did it for me."

"So that's why you went to the lake," Crane says.

"Yeah, but we didn't know the school would call and we didn't know you found the pot. We thought it was still in the barn lost somewhere. You guys were so mad. And then when you thought it was Ford, Evan, or Daniel's pot things got really confusing. I didn't know how to tell you it was mine. And then you punished them and they got mad and...,"

"And Guthrie said it was his," Adam says. I nod my head.

I take another deep breath and look at all of them. They're all looking so serious. I start crying again and say, "I'm sorry." I look at Adam, "I thought if I stole the pot back I could bring it to school and give it back and that would fix everything."

"But it didn't, did it?" He asks.

I shake my head. "No. I didn't think about what would happen when you found it missing. So Guthrie said he took it and he got in trouble again."

"What happened to your wrist, Heidi?" Hannah asks.

I look down at the table.

"Who did that to you?" Adam asks.

"Rick did."

"What!" Brian yells. "I swear I'm gonna go down to that school and..."

"Brian!" Adam yells. Then he calmly says, "calm down. Remember we're just listening right now. Why did he do that Heidi?"

"I don't know. When I gave him back the pot, he grabbed my wrist really hard and told me if I told on him he'd beat Guthrie up. And then Guthrie said Rick left him alone. So I thought everything would go back to normal." I look back down at the table.

"Then why did you get in a fight with Gary today?" Adam asks.

I look up and say, "because he's been picking on me for a few days and I just couldn't take it anymore, so I punched him! He deserved it!"

"Heidi, calm down," Hannah says.

"And then everything got all messed up again." I look at Adam. "You were mad today and you said you were gonna make me tell you everything. I was scared to do that so I decided to run away." I look around at all of them and then I look down at the table again and say, "and that's everything." I pause. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry everyone had to look for me and I'm sorry I got everyone in trouble."

The room is really quiet. And I'm really, really tired.

"Why don't you go get ready for bed," Hannah says, getting up and giving me a hug. "I'll get a pot of coffee going, I have a feeling we're going to be up late tonight," she says to my brothers.

I get up from the table and walk to the living room, but when I walk by Adam he reaches over and pulls me to him and gives me a hug. "I'm glad you're home safe where you belong." I nod my head and pull away and walk over to the stairs.

* * *

When I get to my room I look for my thermal pajamas but I can't find them anywhere. Then I remember I put them in my backpack and I don't know where the pack is. I feel exhausted so I sit down on my floor and cry.

Guthrie must have had heard me because he's sitting with me and has his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry Guthrie," I whisper.

"I know. It's ok. You were just trying to protect me. You're a good sister."

I look up at him. "You're a good brother." We hug each other.

"Why are you sitting here on the floor?" He asks.

"I can't find my pajamas. They're in my backpack and I don't know where that is."

"I'll go find it," he says and he stands up to leave.

"Wait. I hope you'll be ok at school tomorrow. I don't know what Adam and them are going to do now that they know."

"It's ok Heidi, my friends will help me."

"I wish I could be there in case you need help."

"I know. You're lucky you get to stay home for three days. I wish I was suspended too!" I laugh a little bit. He gets up and says, "I'll be right back."

Daniel, Evan and Ford come in and sit on my bed. They look at me sitting down here on the floor and Daniel says, "Heidi, we need to talk."


	14. Chapter 14

I look up at them sitting on my bed and ask, "about what?"

"Heidi, if someone's picking on you at school you can always come tell us," Evan says. I look up at them and they're all smiling at me. "Just because we don't go to your school doesn't mean we can't help you there."

"But Guthrie was going to get beat up," I tell them.

"But if you told us that we would've helped you, and you wouldn't have gotten in this mess to begin with," Daniel says.

"You can tell us anything," Ford says.

"You and Guthrie need to start telling us stuff so we can help you," Daniel says. "Some of the plans you guys come up with aren't exactly the greatest."

Ford laughs. "_Some_ of their plans? I'd say _most_ of their plans!" Especially yours, Heidi." They all laugh.

"Are you making fun of me?" I ask.

"No. All we're trying to say is let us help you," Daniel says, smiling at me. "We're your big brothers."

"Yeah, your plan to steal the marijuana back from Adam was really dumb," Evan says. "You really didn't think he would notice?"

"I didn't think about that. How am I supposed to know all this stuff? I'm only ten," I say.

"That's why you tell us and let us figure it out for you. We know all kinds of tricks to keep you out of trouble," Ford says.

"Heidi, never run away when it's gonna be dark. It gets too cold at night for you to be out there lost. It's also too hard for us to find you at night, so we have to ask the Sheriff and other people to help," Daniel says.

"How do you guys know so much?" I ask.

"Who do you think we learned from?" Evan asks. I shrug my shoulders.

"Our older brothers," Ford says. I look up at them and think about that for a minute. Guthrie runs into my room with my backpack.

"What are you guys talking about?" Guthrie asks.

"C'mon, let's go talk in our room, it's too crowded in here," Daniel says, and they get up to leave.

"I have to get ready for bed," I tell them.

"Then hurry up and come over when you're done," Evan says.

They leave and I close my door and get dressed quickly. I open the door and listen downstairs to see if Adam and them are still talking in the kitchen, and they are. I run down the hall to my brother's room and open the door. They're talking and laughing and Ford tells me to come up on his bed. I climb up and listen to their stories.

They're telling stories about when Adam, Brian and Crane were younger. I'm really tired so I just lay back and listen.

"If Adam was like that when he was our age, why does he get so mad at us when we act like that?" Guthrie asks.

"He's too busy being the dad now," Evan says laughing. Everyone else laughs and agrees.

"The dad of who?" I ask yawning.

"You. Us. All of us," Daniel says.

I'm confused. "What are you talking about? Does that mean Hannah's the mom?" I ask and they start laughing again.

There's a knock on the door and it opens, and Adam walks in. He looks around, sees me and says, "lights out guys. It's a school day tomorrow and it's way past everyone's bedtime." There's a lot of groans. "Especially you Guthrie." Guthrie groans and gets up. "Can't I stay home like Heidi?"

"Nope, you're not suspended. Bedtime." He walks over to Ford's bed and looks at me and says, "bedtime for you too." I nod and climb down. Everyone says goodnight to me and Guthrie, and I go to my room and climb in bed.

Adam stands in my doorway and says, "goodnight. We'll talk tomorrow." I tell him goodnight and close my eyes.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning the house is quiet. That's unusual, so I look at my clock. 8:30. Oh no! Guthrie's already at school and I didn't get to say goodbye. I hope he's ok! I get up and look downstairs and I don't see anyone. I run downstairs and into the kitchen and see Hannah sitting at the table writing something.

"Good morning," she says, looking up and smiling at me.

"Hi," I say.

"Are you hungry?" She asks.

I nod my head and ask, "where is everyone?"

"Well, Brian and Crane are out fixing the pump and Adam's in town. What would you like for breakfast? I can make bacon and eggs, or pancakes?"

"I'll just get some cereal," I say walking over to the cupboard to get a bowl down.

"Are you sure? I can make you something."

"No thank you." I get my cereal and bring it to the table. I look over to see what she's writing and it's a shopping list. "Are you going to town?"

"Yes, as soon as Adam gets back."

I sit quietly and eat my cereal.

She stops writing and looks at me. "You had a busy day yesterday. How are you feeling today?"

I look at my cereal and say, "fine." I don't know why but for some reason I don't feel like talking much. "Am I going into town with you today?" I ask.

"No. You're going to stay home today."

Bummer. I get up and carry my bowl over to the sink. I guess I'll go get dressed and go outside. I walk upstairs to my room and sit on my bed. Hannah seems different today. She didn't seem mad but she didn't seem happy either. Maybe she's mad at me.

I hear the front door open and I listen to see if I can hear who it is. "So, how'd it go?" Hannah asks. "I think we got it all straightened out," Adam says. It's Adam. I wonder what they're talking about. "Mr. Brick is going to take care of everything...," they walk into the kitchen so I can't hear anymore.

So he's been to my school already. I hope Guthrie is ok. I hope Rick and Gary leave him alone. I don't get much time to think about it because I hear Adam calling my name. I get up and walk out of my room and look downstairs at him.

"Get dressed and come downstairs," he says.

* * *

When I come downstairs I find Adam in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee. He sees me come in and says, "sit down."

I sit at the table and he sits down across from me and then he starts talking. "I went and talked to Mr. Brick." I look at him. "I told him everything that happened and he's going to take care of it." I don't know what that means, but I don't want to ask. "Your teacher put together some work for you to do while you're suspended for the next three days. It's in this folder." He points to a blue folder on the table. I slide it over to me and open it up. There are lots of dittos inside and I start to pull one out when Adam reaches over and closes it.

"We need to talk," Adam says. I look at him. "Why didn't you come to us?"

"Because I was afraid to."

"Why? Why would you be afraid to come to your family?"

I stare at him. I don't know the answer to that. I think for a minute and then I realize something. "I did go to my family. I went to Guthrie. I wasn't afraid to go to Guthrie."

He looks at me like he's thinking about that. "That's true. But that's not what I mean. Why were you afraid to come to an adult? Hannah, Brian, Crane, or me?"

"I told you why. I didn't want Guthrie to get beat up."

Adam sighs. "Ok. But I want you to know I need you to tell an adult when you're in trouble. You were being bullied at school and you have to tell an adult when that happens."

"Ok." We look at each other. "How come you're not outside working?" I ask.

"Because I'm in here talking to you. And we're not done yet." He looks at me still serious. "I'm disappointed in you. As soon as you knew you had marijuana you should've come and told me."

"I was afraid to. You get really mad sometimes."

"I wouldn't have gotten mad about that. Just because I get mad sometimes doesn't mean I don't want to help you when you have a problem. Look at all that happened because you didn't ask for help, you lied, you cut school, you ran away...," he stops and pauses.

"I'm sorry," I say and I start to cry. Adam comes over and hugs me. "Do you think Guthrie is going to be ok?" I ask.

"Guthrie's going to be just fine. "Why don't you get started on your schoolwork and he'll be home before you know it. I'll be in the living room if you need help." And he gets up to leave.

"How come you're not going outside to work?"

"Because someone's got to stay in here to watch you."

"What'd you mean? Like a babysitter?"

He nods his head as he walks into the other room.

That makes me feel a little mad. "Im not a baby," I mutter to myself.

"You may not be a baby, but you're only ten, and I think we've been forgetting about that lately."

* * *

I open up my schoolwork folder and look at the papers inside. There's a bunch of math dittos and writing ones and some reading. This is frustrating. It's hard enough to do all this work at school but it's gonna be harder here because there are more distractions. Especially when all I can think about is how Guthrie is doing. I decide to start with math. I pull out a ditto and look at it and then I just sit there and stare into space thinking about Guthrie.

* * *

I don't know how long I've been sitting here doing nothing so I decide I'd better get to work. I get up to go find a pencil, so I go into the living room and over to the desk. I look at Adam and he's asleep on the couch. Not a very good babysitter. I get a pencil and walk over to the window and look outside.

I see my horse Lucy and wish I could go outside and talk to her. I wish I could ride her right now. I'd go anywhere so I wouldn't have to be inside right now. I wonder if Guthrie is doing ok at school. I look down at my wrist and then I remember that I saw those same bruises on Gary's wrists. I wonder how he got them. Maybe Rick grabbed his wrists too. Why would he grab his brother's wrists. I hope Guthrie is ok. I look at the clock. It's 11:00. This is gonna be a long day.

"What are you doing?" Adam startles me.

"Getting a pencil."

"Last time I checked we don't keep pencils by the window. "What have you been doing this whole time?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Do you think Guthrie's ok?" I ask.

"Are you still worried about him?" I nod my head. "I told you, the school is going to take care of it."

"How?" I ask. I don't wait for him to answer because I'm thinking about something else. "Why do you think Gary had bruises on his wrists like mine?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw his wrists when we were in the office. He had bruises on them like mine. Do you think Rick did that? Why would he hurt his brother like that? You guys don't hurt each other like that. Do you? And why would he do that to me, a girl?"

"Come here," Adam says. I walk over to the couch and sit next to him. "Let me see your wrist."

I hold it up to him. "It really hurt when he grabbed it," I say.

"I bet it did. I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish you would've told us the truth about it."

I look up at him. "I'm sorry."

Adam puts his arm around me. "I know you are. I don't know how Gary got his bruises. I'm sorry he has them too."

"Gary was really mean. One day he called me ugly. And he called me a cry baby. But you know what?" I look up at Adam, "I did what you said. I didn't fight with him I just ignored him."

"You did?" Adam says smiling down at me.

"Yeah. And then when he went away I cried."

Adam hugs me. "I'm sorry he did that. I'm glad you didn't fight him. I wish you would've told me about that too."

"The next time he grabbed my arm. I tried really hard not to beat him up but he kept pushing me, so I had to do it."

"No, that's where you're wrong. You've got to go to an adult when something like that happens. He's not supposed to be doing that to anyone, but that doesn't mean you hit him back. Next time go to an adult, ok?"

"Ok."

"Why don't you get back to work on your schoolwork. I have a feeling you haven't started it yet." I smile at him. "I'll come check it in a little while," he says, smiling at me.

* * *

I spend most of the day doing my work. I got a break when everyone came in for lunch. I asked Adam if I could go outside for a little bit, but he didn't let me. He was kind of mad because I'm still working on the first math ditto. "You're gonna sit there until you finish that and at least one more assignment," he said. This is so frustrating!

When Guthrie comes home from school I'm happy to see him. He doesn't look like he got beat up. "Heidi, I have to tell you something about Rick and Gary," he says excitedly. "They...,"

"Guthrie, you'll have to tell her later. She's got work to do," Adam tells him. "Why don't you go out and do your chores now." Guthrie looks at me and shrugs his shoulders. He goes out the back door.

"Can I please go out and do my chores?" I ask.

"No. You're staying inside today."

"I've been working hard all day," I tell him.

"No you haven't. You're not going outside so quit asking!" He says sternly, and he walks back out to the living room and sits on the couch.

"When's Hannah coming home?" I ask, but he ignores me.

* * *

I'm getting mad. I'm tired of sitting here! I'm mad at Adam. I want to go outside and talk to Guthrie and find out what he's so excited about. Maybe I should do something besides math. I look at the other dittos in my folder. I pull out a writing one and read the directions. "Write about a fun place your dad took you when you were little." What! Why do we have to keep doing these stupid writing assignments? Not everyone has a mom and a dad! I crumple up the paper and put my head down on the table and cry softly.

I must be crying louder than I thought because I get startled when Adam says, "what's wrong?"

I put my head up and say, "nothing!"

"Why'd you do that to your paper?" He asks.

I glare at him, but don't answer.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I don't know!"

He reaches for it but I grab it first.

"Let me see it," he says.

"No! You can't!" I yell holding it behind my back.

"Give it to me NOW!" He yells. I shake my head and glare at him. He comes over to me and I get up ready to run but he grabs it out of my hand.

"Please don't open it!" I cry.

But he does. He reads it and then he looks at me. "Heidi, I ...,"

"I hate you! I told you not to open it!" I yell.

He kneels down and tries to hug me but I push him away. "Get away from me!" I look right into his eyes and yell, "You're not my dad!" And I try to run out the back door but he grabs me and holds me tight while I cry.

"I'm sorry," I say. I lay my head on his shoulder and cry and he just holds me.

After a while he says, "it's ok Heidi."

"No, I'm sorry I said that. I don't know why I said that."

"It's ok. You said that because you're confused. It's hard for you because you've never had a dad before. Or a mom. You don't know what it's like to have one."

"Are you the dad?"

"I'm your brother. But I'm your brother who takes care of you and is making sure you grow up like our mom and dad would've wanted you too."

"Like a real dad would do?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry I said that."

"It's really ok Heidi. Do you know I've heard that from some of your brothers before?"

"I know, they're always joking about it."

"No, I mean just like you did. When they were young like you and confused and trying to figure everything out. I've heard it from Guthrie, Ford, Evan, Daniel and even Crane when he was about twelve or thirteen."

"Really? Even Crane?"

"Yes. He was really angry just after they died."

"If you're like a dad, then is Hannah the mom?"

Adam laughs. "Well, I think she's doing a really good job of taking care of all you guys."

"I think she is too." I smile at him and give him a big hug. "Adam?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what was happening at school."

"I know," he says, and he hugs me tighter.

We hear someone coming into the kitchen and I look over and see is Hannah. "Hannah! You're back!" I run over to her and give her a big hug.

She hugs me. "I'm glad to see you too." I look up at her and she's looking at Adam and smiling. "Did you have a good day?" She asks me.

"It was so boring. You know what?"

"What?"

"Adam's not a very good babysitter."

"He's not?"

"No. He feel asleep for part of the time."

"He did?" She says laughing. Adam laughs too and he comes over to give both of us a hug.

"Why don't you help me make dinner Heidi," Hannah says.

"Yeah! No more schoolwork!"

"Not until tomorrow," Adam says.

"Hannah, you should be the babysitter tomorrow," I tell her.

* * *

After dinner I finally get to talk to Guthrie. Hannah and Adam say they want to listen to Guthrie's day too, so we go up to their room. Guthrie, Hannah and I sit on the bed and Adam sits in the chair that's over by the window.

"You'll never guess what happened!" Guthrie starts. "I saw Rick trying to sell pot to this kid in my class named Brian. Brian was telling Rick he didn't want any and Rick kept trying to make him and I went up to Rick and told him to stop!"

"You did?" I ask.

Adam says, "I'm proud of you." And Hannah gives him a little hug.

Then Guthrie starts again, "that's not the end. Rick told me he was going to beat me up if I didn't get out of his way and let him sell his pot. I told him I wasn't going anywhere and then I looked around and saw all my friends were there with me. They helped stand up to Rick with me! We told him we didn't want him selling pot at our school."

"What'd he say?" I ask.

"He didn't get to say anything because you know what? Mr. Brick came over and asked Rick what was in the bag."

"He did?" I ask excitedly.

"Yes! And he saw the marijuana in the bag and took Rick to the office. Later that day the Sheriff was at school."

"Why?"

"Rick got arrested!"

"What? He's going to jail?" I can't believe it.

"Kid jail," Hannah says.

"Some kids said he got expelled from school, Heidi," Guthrie says.

"What does that mean?"

"He's not coming back!"

"He's not?"

"No!"

I'm so happy I give Guthrie a big hug.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore," Guthrie says.

"I'm glad both of you don't have to worry about Rick anymore," Hannah says, hugging both of us.

"I'm glad too," Adam says. "But now we've got to talk about serious stuff." Hannah stops hugging us and we both look at Adam. "This past week you two have lied and cut school, and Heidi you've also stolen, beaten somebody up, and ran away. Those are all things you know you're not supposed to do, right?" We nod our heads. "You two are grounded until I say you're not anymore. That means you'll do your chores and homework and stay inside the rest of the time. Do you understand?"

"Yes," we both say.

"Good. Please tell an adult the next time you have a problem you don't know how to solve. We love you. Me, Hannah, all your brothers, we love you and we want to help you when you need us. Don't forget, we're here for you. Ok?" He smiles at us.

We smile back and say, "ok."

"Now go downstairs and help your brothers with the dishes so I can talk to Hannah." We get off the bed and he stands up and gives us each a hug. We walk out of their room and I stop in the doorway.

"What are you gonna talk to her about?" I ask.

"You!" He yells, laughing. "Now shut the door on your way out!"

We shut the door and head downstairs. I turn to Guthrie and say, "let's never get in trouble again!"

"You got a deal!" He says. Then we look at each other and smile because we know that's not gonna happen. And then we laugh because we've also said that to each other about a hundred times before.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reviewing! They help motivate me to keep writing, and I'm having a lot of fun writing these stories. I'm glad you like them too. The next adventure for Guthrie and Heidi will be them trying to break Brian out of jail from the episode "A House Divided". I hope you'll read it.**


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